Why are handjobs necessary in class?
If its called oral, why is it so hard to talk?
you don't seem to understand just how much pasta i spilled on my bed last night.
and then the other night his penis tricked us both into sex
when we woke up the fish was dead lying next to us on the bed. wat should i tell her
At least drunk me was smart enough to stash toilet paper in my bag before I started my walk home. Finally countless squat pees and wiping with grass taught me to be prepared.
He woke up, got my bottle of water and poured it on me and then went back to sleep. Not really how I want to wake up at 2 a.m.
We're past the whole "Did she just try to finger my ass?" Stage. Now it's encouraged.
A shower wasnt enough to wash off the shame but at least it took care off the blood.
I might have been fine if i had magic teleportation powers and could have skipped the car ride between bar and home
I'll just be here. Naked. Eating tots and jello like a muh fuggin G
I seriously just drove by a man walking down the street wearing hospital scrubs, an 80s track jacket, gold necklace and carrying a flute.
Nothing says "First Single Holidays" quite like getting baked with the guy that took your virginity four years ago.
So, my first week in Saskatchewan ended with me drinking moonshine and getting eaten out in a tractor. I already love it here!
Is she talking about a testicle cuff or just a cock ring? How did you meet this girl?
Is there a big difference?
It’s about the same as the difference between a night of drunken sex with a stripper at the Bellagio and being robbed and left for dead by a crystal meth tweaker
Randomize
