i was just lookin through my fb pics and i think im with a cat in like 40% of them..: how sad is my life
In retrospect, it was a terrible idea, going down on her with these ulcers in my mouth.
In case you were wondering, you weren't dreaming. I really did get stuck between my bed and the wall last night.
I think i just got paid for sex with a hot pocket... and i accepted
Neighbors just bought a new bong. Got high with them and we decided to name it "Gary colemans sweet sugarlumps" these guys are hilarious
There are 9 condoms on my bed either i met the greatest girl ever last night or something horrible has happened.
They have beer in plastic boots. How am I supposed to resist that?
All I know is....there's beer in my camera. How do I know? Because I can pick up my camera,shake it and HEAR, the beer in it
Your argument isn't valid... just because I test the waters doesn't make me gay. Makes me versatile. And who doesn't love that!
I just realized that I have dated 5 unemployed guys...and 3 that drove pt cruisers...Turns out I do have a type.
Anyone see the sob who took the piñata?
Question for you. Do you want to go out somewhere or do you want to have sloppy joes at my house? That's not a euphemism for anything; I actually have stuff to make sloppy joes
Remember that time I came to London for 4 hours, got hammered, cried for an hour and then left.
DO NOT FUCK YOUR ENGAGED GAY NEIGHBOR!
i'd like to schedule a penis for 4pm please.
Randomize
