i'm pretty confident that i watched a woman making love to a german shepherd.
guess who just spent driver's ed figuring out how to draw a guy giving head
I just saw a hobo ride by on a unicycle. Good day.
I save people's lives for a living, but I want to ruin his marriage.
So for a second i just thought clitoris was a disease.
She said that I needed to "pregame her so it can slip right in."
The bartender gave me a roll of masking tape so I could tape my heels to my feet so I wouldn't lose them when i went drunk running later that night
may have given a homeless man 70 dollars in exchange for his sandals. so yea, i'm going as jesus for next halloween.
I just took a shot out of my supervisors unzipped jeans. Our staff parties are getting a little too personal
Nothing like playing hide and seek with a state patrol officer early in the morning to get your heart rate up.
I'm gonna rob all up in that cradle
I KNEW IT. I HAD A FEELING. THIS IS GODS CURSE. BREAK UP WITH A SEX GOD. GET ONE OF HIS PEASANTS.
I offered the opportunity to grope my boobs for pints. Two girls took me up.
my Mom is now my Eskimo sister... she fucked my ex in my bed and took a selfie
YOU GOT ME SO DRUNKK
i got me so drunk!
Randomize