mornings like this make me wish i was morman.
my new favorite insult= "thundercunt"
yeah after seeing those pics of her puking into my underwear drawer i remembered again why i didn't want to invite her.
you didn't check your sock drawer yet did you
he yelled 'rock me amadeus!' when he came
i love that song!
NOT THE POINT
the bartender cut u off when u asked him for his screename so u could IM him later
Puked up what appears to be battery acid next to the treadmill. Everyone noticed.
I've literally already typed in by booty call text for friday night. all I have to do now is wait for is drunk me to press send
That's not a funny feeling. That's hepatitis. You got it from that bar where everything was sticky.
She's really sweet and cute, but when she drinks, she becomes way too proud of her bush.
I'm 99% sure the Indians were high for thanksgiving and we should respect that by getting high too
Apparently I promised everyone at the party I'd partake in various winter sports with them..
The good news is I woke up fully clothed, on top of my covers, with a half eaten granola bar. So, breakfast was waiting for me and I’m already dressed and ready to go today.
Still riding the magical train of drugs so, yeah, Id say I feel great
She stood up through my sunroof the entire drive home. screaming her ass off and singing free falling..
I love when Facebook suggests people I may know. Well, yeah, I know him. He's my drug dealer. Pretty sure I want to keep that relationship strictly professional.
Randomize
