I thought I was riding a bike, but I guess it was a vacuum cleaner
the entire time we were hooking up i couldn't stop thinking about the bengals. thoughts?
you kept talking about how hot andy milinakis is and the things you would do with him. no more tequila from him.
I answered the my mom's phone call about what we're doing for father's day while he was still fucking me. She thought I seemed really excited about his hiking boots present.
The fact that I am sitting home writing a resume while you're out inducing vomiting makes me feel like way more of an adult than I'm ready to be.
Thinking about fake proposing to my gf just so the middle aged women next to us will buy us drinks
You said eat breakfast. So i poured Baileys on top of m&m's. It taste just like like cereal I swear.
it was all good until he screamed "for fraaannnceee" on his last thrust
Night is still young. Puking guts out part of it just began
So question... If I'm sexting with uncircumcised guy, do I have to add *then i gently pull your foreskin down*?
I need a new best friend. Someone who drinks like a fish, hooks up enough to raise eyebrows, and isn't afraid to admit that masturbation is the second best way to spend time. Someone like me! Help me put up posters.
Well. Now I feel like I put pants on for nothing.
I just ate broccoli before drinking. Does that make me a responsible adult?
It's weird having sex with someone you actually like
she's 6'2. you bet your ass i slept with her.
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