In attempts to Not be THAT GIRL in front of my new crush I will only drink a 12 pack instead of my normal case.
They thought I was the paid stripper pretty much, and a lady tried to set me up with her nephew and then wanted to get my number for lesbian daughter... A typical night for me
Agreed. And i highly doubt it could be awkward. You do remember our introduction was a direct result of you mentioning your affinity for my genitals, right?
I just found what appears to be a tooth in my purse...anybody missing one?
Wanna go watch Transformers and scream "AMERICA!"? I need a no thought activity
The worst thing about him living around the corner is that who ever suggests the booty call is the one that walks over.
I'm so fucking horny right now If I blink I might cum
Got home. All the lights were on. All the doors were unlocked. My room was covered in beads, there's puke in the sink and of course our toilet is still broke. I'd say it was a decent Mardi Gras
i'm licking honey sensually off my arm while alone in my room. what has my life come to
If I die write a nice eulogy and bury me with my star wars bobbleheads
Hey can you send me a pic of your breast with a peace sign in the photo? I'm trying to win a scavenger hunt contest. Thanks so much
On a scale of 1-10 how inappropriate is it for me to ask if Walgreens offers teacher discounts when purchasing a Plan B pill?
You hit your head and proceeded to fall in the floor, curl up in my lap and make me rock you like a small infant. I was beginning to worry until you started to sing "Rock me momma like a wagon wheel".
I sent him a blank text because I didn't want to "drunk text" him.
whered you go
woke up in a ditch, shat infront of a little league game, slept in her stairway...i need to come here more often
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