she just stood in the kitchen yelling "REAL WOMEN HAVE CURVES"
I just got sparklers from my secret santa. Drunken sledding just got to a whole new level of dangerous
I am standing at the lion i publicly humped last night. i am mortified.
I have absolutely nothing sober to say to you.
fuck. I just remembered I agreed to let you finger me last night for solely for "scientific purposes"
He was spoon feeding me wine all night.
she had a concussion and she still scored nine points higher than me on the midterm
She just did a bodyshot off herself. I don't care that it's only seven thirty, come pick her up.
Sometimes I really think that if... When your stoned you have a catlike ability to just relax in any position
I think I ingested my vampire fangs last night.
dude I don't even care if I'm getting catfished the point is I'm going to get laid. hot bitch, fat bitch, skanky bitch, i don't care my penis is having an adventure tonight regardless
I just want to sit my fat ass down at McDonald's and never leave
I still can't believe that dog licked my nipple.
I woke up in a limo in long Island, Ny this morning. Talk about a black out
You're having marijuana delivered to you. You're buying drugs and you aren't even leaving the house. I'm sure he'll be surprised if you're NOT wearing a bathrobe.
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