i always forget that thursday isnt the weekend in the real world
What kind of friend are you? You don't even blackout anymore.
i've never seen someone fall down the steps so gracefully... i think im in love
She was wearing a shirt that said "Just Do Me", holding a half of a bottle of Vodka, and was screaming at her friends "PUSSY JUST SWALLOW!" before she chugged the rest of the bottle.
Dude, if you don't take her, I will.
You want to move to a city because of their promotional beer pricing
So?
This is why you shouldn't make decisions
Hey I think I found part of your tooth next to your wine bottle in the floor board of my car.
It's now 3:30 and the guy I went home with is showering me with shredded cheese. Nbd.
It's okay, I found my phone in the toaster oven. Logical explanation: 5 martinis
Would it be out of line to take a picture of all the earrings, rings, hairclips, and other miscellaneous girl items that I found under my bed and post it on facebook and tag all the girls that I slept with this year so they can claim their shit and get it out of my house?
I am not betting on the failure of any friend that is not you.
Care to explain the single rose and the package of "Cowboy Moustaches" I found on the porch?
This is the fourth day in a row I woke up with cheetos spread around me in a ritual pattern..this weed is unreal
Tackling and headbutting friends, running away and hiding from everyone, attempting to streak across campus, and then waking up with no sign of a hangover... happy 21 to me
I'm drunk and in a paddle boat and my friend won't quit yelling about pandas. Does this ever happen to you?
I want you
Nvm, now I want someone who replies to my booty-call texts faster
Randomize
