You dirty dirty liar I like the way you twitter
I kiss like a newly born barfing kangaroo
can't decide if i want to get drunk or coked for this harry potter thing.. it is kind of long
aren't you going with children?
Sorry I never got back to you. I got high. I know it sounds like a commercial or something... but its true
My porch is a mess of peanut butter and tostitos...thanks for that.
well after we realized that his best friend and my twin sister were hooking up it was kind of an unsopken agreement that we would too
you can't wake me up at 4am to suck your dick and then give me a high five at the bar
LSHMSFOAIDMT = laughing so hard my sombrero falls off and I drop my taco.
My meds have diminished my sex drive, this must be what regular women feel like
I've got to admit, I'm a little hesitant about giving him road head. I've seen how he drives and I've seen how he acts when I give him head. A small part of me is saying this is going to end badly.
Life Epiphany- I need to have children so I can be the drunk grandma at family functions. Its my destiny.
i was trying to figure out what "tidy fucking" was when i realized he meant "titty fucking" and i need to start banging smarter people....
Between randomly bursting into tears and the reappearance of my lost sex drive, this break up has left me bizarrely damp.
How do you teach a grown ass men how to fuck? Why is good sex so hard to find these days?
Hi. I have frying pans taped to my feet. I achave to go the hospital, theyre on pretty tight. Can't feel legs bring me juice
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