Good cause the way I see it, we are down to DAYS left of college so we should have as much naked fun as possible. And Jenga really facilitates that.
My dad just gifted me an alaskan flag he stole from the govenor's mansion. He said it was to hang on the wall at 3316, to start a morning ritual. Then he mimed kegstands and vomiting. Senior year will be epic.
Considering showing up at your house with coronas. I'll be wearing a sombrero and that's it.
Party city is having a sale on maracas
I think my new low is running outside in a towel to pet a particularly fluffy looking squirrel and projectile vomiting off the balcony.
If I had that in my pants Omg I would want a shirt made so everyone knew
We called dibs on each other's genitals. That bond is unbreakable.
I made $130 by ordering two pizzas and charging them $10 a slice. If they weren't so stoned they might have realized they could have just ordered another pizza for $20.
I put tequila in my salad dressing yesterday. Step the fuck up.
wtf... you literally introduced yourself as "that friend who's going to fuck all your other friends."
I hope you know that means regardless of their gender.
Don't send me nudes asking me to come fuck you on lunch break then send me a video of kids you're babysitting.
There is no issue with you seeing me...morally or ethically. we'll update your resume anyway. I really need to have sex with you later. Really
Eh, my puke tasted like lemonade, so not too bad
How I know I would be an awful mother....I just stirred the bong up with a baby fork. A literal baby fork....
Fun fact: nipples work on touch screens. Tell your friends :)
he sent me a picture of him holding out his pinky so we could pinky promise. i have to fuck him now
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