If you're really into hairy Serbian chicks, Cleveland has a lot to offer(216): We're going to cougar night, the serbian chicks are the best aged.
so Mike and I made a deal. we'd do anal if he would help me pick out carpet tomorrow.
What...you let him do that?
It wasnt that bad. the two minutes it took is nothing compared to the 10 hr day I have planned for him tomorrow
They're making scrambled eggs at 2 in the morning... with rum
it was a whole new experience in the world of ball fondling
Also, did that cop draw hearts on everyone's hands last night?
You probably don't remember this but last night I bought you a lap dance from a stripper that had nipples that looked like runny eggs....you're welcome.
Lots of alcohol last night skiing this morning = me throwing up off chairlift
adding to the list of how to lure in freshman boys: take dogs for a walk, yell at them from across the street, sit on the curb at 3 in the morning sobbing
I just realized that the thing that smelled like an electrical fire in my house was me.
I said to him "i can't have sex with anyone in my friend's living room" then he said "we can move the air mattress into the kitchen"
He's under the table sobbing because he doesn't live in a taco if you ever get him this high again I will stab you
just once I'd like to not pass out before we leave the designated pre-drinking place
That's like doing a cinnamon challenge in my vag - but more painful.
You should really look at your snapstory. It has us screaming " MANSION DICK! SUCK IT! FUCK IT!" By the way im currently in a mansion and need you to pick me up
What's the polite way to say "hey I don't actually want to fuck you, I just swiped right on you because you didn't like me in high school and I needed validation"
Randomize
