You're the unicorn of the gay community. Unbelievable and unattainable.
Make good choices ;) This is your automated cockblock message
After this weekend, it looks come this holiday season I'll be walking in a winter abortionland.
Then I hope you find a set of extremely intelligent, flexible triplets in the ethnicity of your choice.
That is the nicest thing anyone has ever wished for me
You told the cop FUCK YOU AND YOUR TASER, i dont think he appricaited that
On a side note Tyler is buying beer from a gas station in a panda suit priceless
he told me "apparently my gag reflex doesn't work so if you magically grew a penis I would deep throat you"
So are we just not going to talk about the time I came home to you jerking it in the kitchen?
I was so drunk last night dude. I woke up this morning to my oven being wide open and my pants on the kitchen floor.
Do you want to go soon I'm overthinking life and my butthole again
i woke up face planted on your ottoman..thanks for letting me sleepover
Was not aware that standing loudly up off the couch and loudly, drunkenly slurring "I'M EIGHTEEN NOW BITCHES" counted as a primitive mating call.
The squirrels were at the front door. Dude I swear..
Dude what happened last night?
I don't know, I'm still trying to figure out how I got my clothes back on.
I’m making a jello mold of my penis
Will it be as disappointing as your actual penis?
Randomize
