Gfs sis is in town. Its awkwardly obv that we want to fuck each other.
As long as they suck a good dick I don't care what fruit they have and where they have it
You were running around the house with a purple crayon asking people to call you harold..
nothing as in nothinggggg kills the mood for me is when a girl with 4 cm nipple hair
So I've been thinking a lot since she told me she's prego. But what I want to know is why my voice of reason sounds like Thomas fucking Jane!?
my grandma was just praying before dinner, and before she could finish my gpa lifted his glass and said 'and here's to avatar!'
The sun is out and the snow is finally starting to melt here... Vodka bottles keep popping up everywhere. Guess it's the college version of burying nuts for the winter
Making the executive decision for drunk you to not sleep in the lofted bed that has no ladder
he threw up all over himself while laying down.. it was like watching old faithful, but with noodles and vodka
Well I can cross being naked in a minivan off the list
I mean honestly, I love naps like Anthony Weiner loves sending dick pics
And then god smiled down upon me and he said let there be hangover food and let it be Wendy's
she came into my car to rip lines with our blow dealer as I was writing my essay on anti drug policy, i call it on site research
Fell asleep on kitchen floor again, chicken nuggets everywhere.
as i was trying not to drunkingly fall off her toliet, i noticed her socks laying there. i quickly grabbed them, ran upstairs, and excitingly asked her if she had gotten them at sams club. she replied with, "...those are your socks."
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