That's why Kanye is a gay fish.
i saw her thong sticking out from across the bar...that was my cue
Hopefully. Play it cool. Bust out a few jokes. Chew with your mouth closed and show your boobs.
once she started licking the door on the stall, i got out of there and told her bf "this is your problem now" and walked away
btw my roommates send a round of applause to you and that guy you tried to fuck on our wall. Additionally they hope he got it in.
he paid for dinner at the eiffel tower. drinks at a bar on the champs elysees. gave me a motorcycle ride back to his house, got us heineken and then took me to park overlooking paris. where he ate me out on a park bench. still have doubts about the french?
The cops just showed up and arrested her. It's our 2nd date. Do I have to hang out her with her 3 kids until she makes bail or can I leave?
I just feel like you're using me for sex.
I'm glad you finally understand the context of our relationship
I just picked up my phone and one shoe from the man mowing the lawn next to the ice rink. He found them in a tree.
I have to drop off my inflatable penis costume at the bar for my bartender. Do you think you could meet me there at like 630?
i just thought a plastic bag was my cat. i just pet a plastic bag. that high.
A blind guy just told me that even he could see i was gay and encouraged me to chat up the girl behind that counter bc he thinks we'd make a cute couple. Are all Canadians this helpful?!
CAPS.LOCK.AND.SPACEBAR.ARE.BROKEN.
Watching Colbert Report and porn at the same time.
No my problem is I'm working and its a beautiful Saturday. I should be recovering from a hangover and out golfing. Fuck responsibility. I miss college.
Randomize