Unmistakable female orgasm noises coming from upstairs shower
She must've brought a toy -- seriously doubt that he's up to the task
why does he think he needs to feed/take me out to get some ass? we are at a bar wasting my fucking time
He;s fine. He just kept saying "hurricane Gordon is coming to shore" and flexed his muscles a lot.
She just told me she blew the waiter in the bathroom. Should I still leave a tip?
he keeps trying to sext me and all I can do is respond with descriptions of what im eating.
His penis is literally smaller than my cell phone. I can't go out like that.
'Twas I. Do you have any idea what it's like waking up to see you sent a text inviting someone to partake in "sexy rumpus?"
Ive been thinking this might sound random.. But we need a piano in our house next year specifically for railing chicks on it.
Is it weird that I Facebook creep hot people from their credit card receipts?
Being single for so long makes me fucking creepy.
You know what, don't even answer. Just promise me you'll go to the Corner of Shame when you get home.
My dad just told me I can't passout in the driveway after the 4th of July parade this year, again
I feel like vibrating beds are just synonymous with venereal diseases.
so as he was cumming he sort of growled with one eye squinted... for a moment there I thought I was fucking Popeye
I think I just figured out how to make weed tea in the coffeemaker.
I'm allotting you four buildings to piss on tonight. Choose wisely.
Randomize
