Redeem this text for a blowjob
everyone who works at gamestop is basically destined to live with their parents for the rest of their lives... so i said no.
On the bright side I got 500 American Express points paying for the abortion
Apparently it's poor taste to ask for a break up blow job...in McDonald's. Also, that's not the best way to break the news either.
Well I don't know him that well so I don't think I can give advice. You should make him a cake. Or have sex with him.
You hid from a cop under some guy's canoe on his lawn.. It didnt work
Also, rendered a whole bar silent last night when I told a guy to take off his panties and take a shot out of my cleavage. Video to follow...
Just told my mom I need money for Molly. She was not happy
What's the place called?
I searched "county" on google, but....there's a lot of results
I vaguely remember losing my underwear to 2 chicks in a bathroom. That drunk.
Xanax and full house Tuesday is now Percocet Sunday
Not sure if your roommate speaks German while sleeping, or if she woke up, figured out we were fucking, and used German to swear at us.
I felt like I crashed a wedding. Everyone was dressed so nice and I was covered in actual dirt and a little blood.
i woke up and couldnt remember who was in my bed and it was so dark.. i rolled over and started kissing him and feeling his face because hey... if the blind can see like that.. maybe i could too
Sunday morning breakfast with the boyfriends family. I just puked in the stall at Cracker Barrell. Classy.
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