I don't make mistakes...just understandable bad choices.
I don't get calzones all look the same but taste so different
I woke up on my floor...
I woke up with colors of the wind playing on repeat on my laptop...
Either she got face surgery at midnight, or i need to stop drinking...
best googles of the semester: toe fucking, purpose of two nostrils, human tail. with pictures
I'm just not sure how to initiate the "do you want to have sex with my boyfriend and I" conversation
This guy at the party just introduced himself to me as "the guy who sat behind you on a plane last year"
I can't be the first person ever who had to explain why her bottle of orange juice had a picture of a screwdriver drawn on it
I think I just got a contact from my own exhale. Def dying.
Things got outta hand once she told me to water-board her with Patron.
Another day, another engagement, another cat
I only had sex with him so I could try to steal his roommate's cat, what kind of girl do you think I am?
So I was just like hi, I'm your roommate's gf. Please don't hate me. That would be rly inconvenient for you.
I don't know how much expertise I could offer. My best advice is, "don't drown, for god's sake don't drown"
i just got carded for condoms. wtf.....this is new. isnt safe sex a good thing?
Randomize
