It's hipsters with their motorcycle cop mustaches, moccasins, douchey irony, and department stores to supply their independent conformity
Something's gotta give!
everyone made a circle around them and startd chanting fight fight. they wernt fighting, they were dry humping
the guy i hooked up with is asleep on our couch. please dont fuck him.
i had a headache and asked the kid next to me for aspirin. he gave me esctacy instead. gotta love college.
So i closed my laptop as i started to fall off my bed and then i caught myself and realized that moment of catching myself is the difference between tuesday and friday.
His penis was definitely too big to be the type that wants commitment. Shit.
Were taking his cast off tonite. Need a saw and a gameplan. Meet us at rosies in 30.
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
I really need to stop drunk texting. My one night stand just agreed to go roller skating.
Ryan learned the all important lesson tonight; Red Bull gives you wings, Jaeger gives you gravity.
We're at the urgent care down the street from you if you care to stop by
everyone thought he was too sick to make it, but he showed up. Ten minutes in and he's doing vodka shots with nyquil chasers
trading diseases for a hangover? that's either a really good decision or a really, really bad one. we'll find out if he wakes up tomorrow
How did you even find out?
Because you came up to me and said "I just fucked in the bathroom."
Oh.
Well he fell three stories from the balcony and still had the strength to fuck me for 2 hours.
So, seriously. How does it feel to know that you're riding a cock that was in kindergarten when you were going to prom?
A dry HJ only, please. I don't deserve the comforts of lube after my horrendous fantasy football performance
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