Whenever I miss you I just turn on Tool Academy
call of duty 2 was the straight man's twilight
So I was blaaazed. & while he was in me all I kept thinking was how bad I'd rather be watching The Office.
She just stuck her hand down the strippers pants. Shit just got real.
So just to get a feel for things...how prone are you to male Amish strippers...
The dorm caught on fire so it turned into a 5am pool party
The drug dealer had chickens in his house so I know it was good stuff.
I'm sorry, the person you're trying to reach is WAYYY too high to deal with this right now.
5 hours of volunteer work playing with puppies and banned from the frat I hate most as 'punishment'... Besides the ER trip, I'm not seeing the bad in this situation
The fake number she gave me was for Pappa John's. Now I have a large pepperoni on the way.
Just paid for my STD meds using a giftcard I got for Christmas. Thanks mom.
Hey can you explain why there's a dissected coconut in my purse????
I tried to text you about going to the Lion's Den but sent it to my boss. She was down for it. Please advise.
I may or may not have spent student loan money on a vibrator, that falls under living expenses right?
Who is this? I have a text from you last night telling me your name and to train hard for Tuesday, please make this make sense
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