so she proceeds to puke everywhere, look up at me like a sick dog, and then say, "i'll finish if you want me to."
hey babe thanks for tonight, it was fun.
to be honest, i wanna fuck your friend.
I sat in the mc D drive thru and refused to move till the chick gave me her number
just started drinking the sprite you used to ice your crotch last night. Missing you already
she was sobbing drunk in the backseat about her dead cat and how the guy in the front seat didn't want to hook up with her
Not sure if jager bombs can cure tuberculosis, but its a theory im testing as we speak
The AC broke so he ended up sleeping in the front yard and left his one night stand on the couch.
Getting sick, pulled the filter off a camel crush and rolled it into my joint to clear my sinuses. If there were stoner awards, I'd receive one.
I was jumping over your garbage can screaming "Im a snow cat!!" ..Who wouldn't want to see that?
Drunkenly making hamburger helper. I just whispered "I can't wait to have you in my mouth."
Still pimpin that dick in the cornfields. Now it's just transferred to the local bar.
also I have no idea whose underpants I'm wearing right now but they're super comfy and I'm not giving them back ever
Do you remember when I didn't post that pic of you fucking an avocado on your boss' desk? Can you return the favour?
Beard. Chest hair. Job.
The holy trinity.
Would you laugh at me if I told you I think I burned my nipples?
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