We discussed how the marijuana was making the dopamine float around our nucleus accumbens last night when we were high. Yet another example of how our science classes are perverting our good times.
I will never try to masturbate with americas funniest home videos playing in the background ever again
I'm sorry. I know you didn't expect me to be arm deep in vagina when you walked through the door.
the last thing i remember is yelling at the cab driver that i'm really good at drive by vomitting.
Do you think that my Facebook profile picture kinda look like im being raped by a 10 foot polar bear ?
AT THIS RATE YOU WILL HAVE FUCKED MORE OF MY CLOSE FRIENDS THAN I HAVE PEOPLE PERIOD BY VALENTINE'S DAY.
I just started talking about my sextoy because I wanted things to be normal again.
Hey, I shot that toilet dead center, drunk, from at least 6 ft away. I'm a fuckin awesome shot. You guys were completely safe.
Yes, that toilet won't be hurting anyone anymore.... Hahaha
And suddenly....Tubas. Tubas everywhere.
I just found a contact in my phone named "Sam 'it Won't Fit' Wilson". No clue when or where it came from....
He was late, on account of he accidentally went to the Al-Anon meeting across the hall, and it took him 30 minutes to realize he was in the wrong room.
Wow! It's so great to hear from you! We all thought you perished in Winepocalypse 2012, man.
There is no way to say this. Dude, I peed your bed. No questions, no answers. My flight leaves in 30 minutes. Use my detergent. Also, THE VODKA IN THE FRIDGE IS YOURS.
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
Can you send me the picture of me licking the cows udders?
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