I totally understand Scottish logic. No underwear+skirt=great
i just met rob pattinson in italy. he's so stupid, i feel like i would have to say "your penis goes here!"
My moms helping me unpack but im getting a little nervous because I dont remember where i put my dildo
He told me they were just razor bumps!
I just masterbated while imagining him getting hit by a truck. I have hit a completely unacceptable level of anger & bitterness. Help.
According to the bell hop, we stumbled in about 4 and then cannon balled into the pool.
The only reason we got away with streaking last time was cuz we had those miner hats
Look man, sometimes you just gotta say "Sure! Why not? I can always take a shower afterwards"
Sidenote: do you recall your "give me the d" chant
My chest smells like french fries. Get at me attractive men.
I'm in the middle no shirt white shorts humping the white dustbuster next to the guy shooting off the tazer infront of the two guys humping on the bicycle
I poured somre cereal, realized the chocolate to flake ratio was off, tried to fix it by digging through the box, gave up because of the difficulty level, and poured it back in the box. Being high is the best diet.
you and him went to the park at 2am to "catch a pigeon" and ACTUALLY CAME BACK WITH A PIGEON
every time someone would wish me happy birthday I would be like "thanks happy birthday to you too"
At one point we were both in the bathroom and i was taking a shit while holding your hair as you puked in the sink. Friendship.
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