in a basement doing blow off a prince dvd next to a chick in a saddam mask
When he was fingering me, it felt/looked like he was digging around for pocket change.
Speaking of school, I've done the math and I get laid about 10 times more often than I did before I got my law degree. $100,000 well spent.
I intend to get homeless drunk
dude,it's memorial day.not getting wasted=you're a terrorist
We raised our shot glasses and you screamed out "TO MY DAD FINALLY GOING TO REHAB!"
This is your typical drubkba Amy test. Shout out to jisus for auto correct
I can't even remember the last time I took my own pants off
When i sexted him a pic of my boobs I was worried he was going to notice the dorito crumbs and know I was just eating topless
I made out with a dude last night who has an ex wife. Is this what post grad life is about?
Haha it's harder than you'd think to come up with ways to turn your penis into a Christmas drawing
The man sent me a video of him doing the helicopter, the least I can do is go visit him in the hospital
My farts smell like burning tires and false courage
When a guy asks for your ig but you already know his blood type, social security number, & mother's maiden name.
...blackout vacation is awesome. Where did you end up? I think i'm in Miami.
Hospital.
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