How much explanation does bbqsexapalooza need?
We were walking home when he passed out, we left him. Just got a call from him, hes in a jail in Canada.
he pretended not to hear me say our safety word. how do you think I feel?
just so you know... i was wasted last night, but the evening is coming back to me in flashes... i made you eat gravy last night, didn't i?
I owe her a pancake or a second hand orgasm
I feel like somehow my uterus ended up in my ribcage from all the keg stands i did last night..
Maybe walking up to the cops busting our party with a "Things go better with Coke" t-shirt on and asking for my extra license back that my little brother got busted with wasn't the best idea of the night.
I don't give a damn about what he wants to do with his life. Personalities are for pussies.
You screamed "there will be blood" and punched some random guy in the face. So no, we can't go back to that bar.
It's a "nonproductive" (vocab word) cough. It's like a constant tickle in my throat, like there's a little elf with feathers for feet going Gangnam style on my "uvula" (vocab word).
I'm attracted to him because he looks like the kind of guy who would lick my asshole without me having to ask.
Yeah, I've hit on priests at bars, too. Such a shame, there are a lot of hot men out there who've devoted themselves and their glorious genitalia to the Lord -_-
This whole pope visit thing is ruining me having sex.
I took multi-tasking to a new level. I just ate a plate of nachos off my lap while driving to the bar. And I barely got any on me.
I vaguely remember ordering a water at some point last night. It's good to know drunk me can still be responsible.
Randomize
