why am i having a flashback about somewhere we were this weekend with music videos playing? Spike jonze brothers place?? Help me out
wait can you just look around please? that was my favorite bra and i've already asked like 3 other guys
No, pictures of your dick will not make me feel better about my grandmother having a brain tumor.
He passed out. Woke up long enough to declare himself "the sauce boss" and then bit me in the face.
No, I don't not want an upside down piggyback ride. You're drunk and there are rocks.
I think ppl see us as an unstoppable drunken force
Got a blowie from her in the cab on the way home. Made awkward eye contact with the cabbie who said, and I quote "Keep the mess in her mouth bro", I did so only out of respect
My way of showing team usa support, bronze: handy silver: bj gold: home run. God, I'm patriotic
Whiskey and an unstable home life is apparently the fountain that 20-something boys like to drink from.
If my mom walks in on me masturbating one more time I'm moving out
You'd think the first few times would have been enough
Back. Waiting on Thong the shuttle bus driver. THONG
Thank god he came over. I had to have some good sex to makeup for all the bad sex I've been having.
I'd like to buy a season pass to your dick please.
I had to put my dog down, accidentally outed my brother, and was given a fucking fish sandwich instead of a Big Mac ALL IN ONE DAY! Am I really the person you want to consult for advice? Hhhmmmmmm?
There’s a child, alone, sitting on a picnic table out there, making bird noises
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