The girl in the car behind me just took a bowl hit. I miss college.
I just fell asleep with a sandwich in my mouth at Cosi..people definitely saw
Steel Reserve is the RC Cola of alcohol. It's never ok.
spell your last name, im trying to find you on facebook
You'd think with all the porn he watches he'd be a little better at this...
I just jerked it so loud the neighbor banged on their floor. maybe my wife got the point
i was concerned for your health after you took your "last shot" four times...
By the way if you come home and I'm not wearing pants, just go with it. I didn't have the energy to go searching for some.
It tastes like you we're too lazy to shower and instead just sprayed yourself with Febreeze.
You have a very discerning palate.
I better make out with at least 3 princesses and 4 animals this weekend.
who knew my inner goddess was such a whore
Masturbating to death wouldn't be a terrible way to go. If you die tonight, I'll know how it went down. Promise not to tell your family.
She said to call her, so I called her. Her boyfriend answered and traced the fucking call. I could litterally hear him yell because it turns out he lives in 4d
Don't you live in 4c?
People probably think I’m a fangirl bc I go to so many shows but it’s really bc I like fucking the tour manager
I ate cake in bed. Felt great
Randomize
