No it only became awkward when she walked in with her new boyfriend and we realized we'd all banged her
I peed while puking? Even better
Yes you most deff did. Ultimate multi tasker you are
He has a chalkboard tally in his bathroom of "Me vs. Toilet". He's losing.
Have you ever chugged beers in the hospital parking garage with your mom?
Yeah I fingered her in the crowd and the dj saw it and gave me props over the speakers. I got so many high fives.
You went streaking and came back with your shirt inside out. Then said "it happens in the line of duty" and passed out.
Jsyk, in serious talks of trading blowjobs for soup in bed. I'm sober
I thought this guy walking back to the dorms with his black laundry bag was walking a black flamingo I'm not even kidding I had to take a break on a bench after that.
You're my favorite person
Never let a one night stand shower at your place. My razor, lotion, and brush disappeared. #girlcode
We went to Olive Garden so high we didn't talk and managed to be awkward enough for the waiter to ask if it was our first date
the cashier at the gas station pulled a twig out of my hair and told me I should probably wash it before work....it was kinda sweet.
Shooting a bottle rocket from my penis was entirely justified. Twenty bucks is twenty buck no matter how you look at it
Omg my brain. Most recent thought: I fucking prayed in the bathroom that the other girl would leave. Prayed to Jesus
it's like the easy bake oven version of plastic surgery
not even sure this counts as hungover but like my body can't exist in reality today
Randomize