I feel like our bond as friends is a lot stronger now that I've talked to you on the phone while having sex.
the non-midget kid sent 8,000 texts in a month. the midget parents are pissed. THIS IS EPIC WHEN YOUR HIGH.
the only reason you beat me in fntsy this week is bc you wouldnt bail me outa jail in time to set my roster you dick
of all places to pass out....why right in front of our RA's door? OF ALL PLACES.
I can't wait to find out the true size of his penis! Please maintain enough sobriety for an accurate report.
i think i had to give the cab driver my id to get home last night because i couldnt talk.
you covered his dog in toothpaste. safe to say hes not gonna call you.
This time, try to not get fingered in the middle of the living room.
I DIDNT GET FINGERED
I was rubbed
I drove two hours just to throw up on myself today at the beach. My family saw the whole thing and my younger cousin cried
That sad moment when you flush your Molly down the toilet at the airport & watch your vacation slowly end..
rigging a system to keep my jello shots cold in class. important election day work.
If by date you mean washing Pizza house down with a bottle of wine, then yes I have a date.
Is it bad that I'm tracking my period with Instagram pictures?
It got weird I got a phone call while looking at porn and the video started playing while on the phone full on porn audio.
Between randomly bursting into tears and the reappearance of my lost sex drive, this break up has left me bizarrely damp.
Randomize
