You gave him head? He fingered you? A little bit of make out?
WHAT THE FUCK ITS LIKE YOU WERE THERE
yeah bitch needs to recognize there's only one person with this face
i'm almost done photoshopping my face on his wife. it's a done deal
You're being dramatic. You can calm down, or you can piss off. Either way, I ate your burrito.
I consider myself an expert at getting drunk and embarrassing people at weddings.
I feel like i could break down a fucking wall with this boner
Soooo, coming over soon?
You were so excited to be getting 4 tickets to the Whale Rodeo.... That high
Didn't get the job. Searched for my references on FB and saw the pic of me weighing my head passed out.
He simply fell in the fire, rolled out and continued to finish his bottle of vodka. Everyone else instantly sobered up just watching it.
Agreed then we'll really be on our A game tomorrow. And by A I mean alcohol.
Well we went from the roof to the stairwell to an air mattres. One day were going to fuck in a bed
Do you know how much wine is in a box of wine? Not so much an amount, but whether it will kill me if I drink the entire box this xmas
Dude, who WASN'T thinking of motorboating her?
I am such a fucking liability at weddings. I ended up making out with this married 40-year-old that told me that basically if I came home with him and be a sex partner for him and his wife, I would never have to pay for anything again. Extremely considered it.
So my plane's delayed and some guy is talking to "sparkles" he just told her to never again sell drinks from her cleavage. This is why I don't go home
Randomize
