Raging hang over. 6AM finish. Shat on a bag of trash in an alley. D L that last bit.
Just got kicked out of the ocean for being "unsafe".
currently walking past a fire hyrdrant with a hose already attatched.. this could be dangerous..
can you imagine how much money lesbians save on birth control?!?
bitches.
our health teacher's ringtone is Bad Romance and she has a tramp stamp. i will not skip this class, ever.
Your one and only job is to make sure I am on that bus tomorrow morning with no cat makeup on my face
think they'd let him outta jail for my wedding? we could have him back by like midnight....
she just blew up the empty bag of wine and used it as a floatation device.
hey, this is the ginger girl from the party...i've thought about it and I wanna join the american girl drinking team
Our innocent game of 'Duck, duck, booze.' ended up not being so innocent
Just did a "spirit of homecoming" bump off a stranger's credit card. A stranger that dropped us off at home. Erica's bad. How do allllll of the Eastern Europeans know how to find drugs so easily?!?
I feel like weed makes my smarter. I'm watching the stocks and the way I understand if, do not invest in Yahoo right now because they are not fit for that.
Sorry I trained your dog in Spanish last night. At least he listens to someone now.
Was not aware that standing loudly up off the couch and loudly, drunkenly slurring "I'M EIGHTEEN NOW BITCHES" counted as a primitive mating call.
What do you think would be the best way to remove a baby carrot from a vagina?
Randomize
