how can u be prego again
I just realized i masturbated to the home shopping network. I either need to get a boyfriend asap, or a subscription to a porn website, or i just need to stop taking ambien
he said the way to his heart was through his stomach, i told him if he wanted to eat my food he had to eat my kitty
smooth operator
You coming bye my yot got egg sweet carilne vodklaa
My bullwhip has saved my life tonight and gotten me laid. I'm gonna be Indiana Jones every Halloween!
I just realized I'm trading you a pregnancy test for the morning after pill...
It's been a bad semester.
MEET ME OUTSIDE YOUR HOUSE IN THREE MINUTES. BE DRUNK. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
Seriously though a big penis is like a puppy dog, or a sunny day or some other glorious thing
You are such a penis elitist
He whispered "Are you feeling it now Mr. Krabs?" when he was inside me. That is NOT my fetish.
I just want to drink cheap wine and throw my bra at an aging singer songwriter
I felt like the hulk waking up from a black out except with munchies
I'm still, like... really stoked about not having any STDs
Just an FYI you do have to wear pants to lunch
i woke up wearing a life jacket, holding on to a footlong hotdog, and had on a mr. hustle 1995 shirt on
good night
With a word you would own me. At your command I would walk to your house completely naked.
Randomize
