He is like the real live version of the state fair..
just got a hand job during a movie in class today is gonna be great!
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
I just realized. my grades aren't ready for st patties day...
And at least you didn't have a dinner of Ranch Pringles and Double Stuff Oreos. I forgot that part of being single.
Aaaaand then she sang MDMA to the tune of the YMCA song, with appropriate gestures.
I got woken up by a construction worker, turns out I was laying in a hallway, naked and wrapped in a matress pad. To answer your question no, I did not study for this test I got David Hasselhoff drunk
Highlight of my night: you taking that shot of garlic butter and then throwing the empty container down on the stairs and saying FUCK.
After a little too much, I decided public urination was a constitutional right.. Nearly got deported for that one
Oooo. Can we pretend to be Amanda Bynes?
She bought wigs like Disney princesses. I want to be her.
you gave a quesadilla a blow job with sour cream at Denny's.
I woke up with a hangover and a man bun. Reached over to drink water and accidentally chugged raspberry vodka. So there's that.
Stop it. You know what r&b does to my body
I can't believe just smoked out of a pear
I can't believe you had a pear already made to smoke out of, that was impressive
I got confused. The music was loud, porn was playing, people were grinding, there were hand jobs.
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