Pre-pickelized cucumber-hand invasion!! RUN!!!!!!!!!!
all we need is a web designer
and a bunch of prostitutes
i realized that the internet ruins the joy of a father passing down playboys to his son
getting caught by my parents in bed with another guy was way easier coming out than telling them over dinner like I had planned.
She sucked her thumb until she was 17. It's like my dick was born to be in her mouth.
We are doing handstands and somersaults in the pool. With an inflatable beer pong table and our regular beer pong table. We're ponging by land and by sea
I tried to show my boob for free volcano tacos at taco bell last night. Not boobs. Just boob. The manager wasn't allowing it.
Dad was on the deck drinking straight bourbon. He stopped, puked on his feet, and then continued drinking and talking about compound interest.
She was to tired for head so she opted for a footjob with poor results. I dont want to talk about it
there's cocaine on the ipad again........... was your sister here last night?
Even blacked out me knows not to sleep with socks on
Some nights you just end up digging your mcdouble out of the trash and eating it. it happens.
Apparently stoned me thought eating chips in the shower was a good idea.
I dont know if hes kidding... but hes drunk and said hes going to shave his balls. Alert your emt friends
I realize ur driving andwont read this til u stop, but I'm sleeping in the bed of the pickup. Please don't hit a deer.
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