meow
WTF. STOP SENDING ME ANIMAL NOISES. ITS FUCKING WEIRD.
Everyone needs a good pregnancy scare in their life.
Five Mah tais Laser and i skill have not drunk dial you
I need to not be around brick walls while intoxicated.
I just realized that I'm gonna have to lower my standards if I want random head.
we didnt even make it to the club...the two of us were sharing a plastc bag in the taxi puking into it.
I'm soaked in champagne. I'm eating oatmeal from mcdonalds tonight was glorious
I'm sorry, you might have to start setting aside some time in your day for my pussy.
I just want to be covered in whipped cream and spanked, is that too much to ask?
He threw me over his shoulder and carried me outside, all the while drinking from the bottle of rum he was holding, while my ex watched. I'm winning the break-up.
You ask too many questions when I'm blowing you. You're like a dentist asking how my day has been during a cleaning.
Betting for two different teams with two different guys is the best. Time to get $100 by one guy and laid by the other!
let’s face it, me joining a co-ed soccer league is like, 33% motivated by my crotch seeking a healthy outlet
HE WILL NEVER BE ONE OF US. HE WILL NEVER BE A DECENT, GOD-FEARING WHORE.
I just sold Adderall to a priest, im not quite sure how I feel about this situation
Randomize
