I am going to be the most sexually active ladybug that he has ever seen
Went to the career fair today..I handed out many resumes to find out later that they say I have a bachelor o farts degree...Top that.
So at what point while he was throwing up on the girl next to him did you think "yeah, im going to hit that"
He wouldnt stop screaming that he wanted a trashcan WITH a lid. Whats so necassary about a lid
I just got over my period in 3 days...I believe that is god's way of saying "go fuck an amazingly attractive Italian boy on vacation"
i think i'd rather have a trophy of a like jizz stained curtain or something
I could hear them screwing through my bedroom wall again this morning, so I started beat boxing to the tempo.
You played a drinking game to fat people crying. It's a long climb to the moral high ground, why bother?
You're in the clear; you and Andrew did not joint fingerbang that girl on the dance floor last night.
I'm pretty sure my lung is caught on my rib. And I can't feel the left side of my face. Best. Sex. Ever.
If we can only get laid once in a blue moon, apparently this will be our month.
During your work shift I was either: a) stoned. b) high. c)stoned. or d) high.
How was that my fault?! I made you breakfast and gave you cake, as you asked. Then, you initiated sexual activity.
Of course I'm using oj as a mixer, its flu season.
If everyone felt the happiness from apple crown royal we would be in a better place
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