Yeah, she'd be cute...but she has faith. It's a problem down south.
maybe i'll see you again later :)
I'd rather shit a knife.
smoking a cig and getting head on the last night of my cruise. and she doesn't mind that i'm texting you right now. this is now on my list of top 10 nights of my life.
It was one time. Now I have to constantly remind her my name is Jessica not Jizzica.
I definitely didn't wake up this morning thinking "i wanna get gang banged today"
if things do not go as planned you should see me walking down I81 blindfolded and pantless
Can you pick up from work today? There's a surprise for you on the bed and I haven't gone blind which is positive.
Did you know that taking off a bra with teeth burns ninty calories?
The cops just came to this party I'm at and ate all of our snacks
Dude just crushed our bbq lays and told us to quiet down
She's impossible to please. Other than with two fingers and a tongue.
I should come with a disclaimer that reads "bad at relationships and defensive when confronted about it"
or maybe "WARNING: picks fights when bored"
Eating a TV dinner and watching Goosebumps on Netflix, the sad, sad title of my autobiography.
After tacos, we're chasing women.
If those panties could talk.
"Once upon a time, Jenny got chlamydia from a magician. The end."
I am attempting to break the habit of calling him daddy.
Randomize
