drinking steel reserve before noon and watching the price is right... 211... bet i pass out before then.
you know i'm gay cause i'd have sex with lady gaga. what straight man would say that?
My roommate still talks on AIM. What is this middle school?
We gave a starfish gin and Lucky Charms. I think it enjoyed it. Best trip to the beach ever.
who knew that a girl that let me piss on her within 20 minutes of meeting her would get upset i couldn't remember her name.
I'm sure that's not what the inventers of the Turkey baster had in mind, but that's what I had in mine.
A picture just appeared on facebook. I am puking in the toilet, you are next to me puking in the sink. I think we have our christmas card.
Saw a sign earlier "Domino's Lava Cakes $3.00" and I thought of you. This text brought to you by thing I don't need to know about your sex life.
we got plastered, then made lists of anything thats ever been in our vaginas
I know. Brad is upset because he was lower on the list than "that carrot stick"
She is just riding on my slutty coat tails.
He said he was going to "rock my world". I wonder if he too has a false sense of confidence and accomplishment stemming from a complete lack of honesty from our own female counterparts.
All I have done at work today is eat and try to get my coworker to tie me to his bed again
he just kept texting even after we lit his shoelaces on fire. he just calmly walked into the pool... still texting.
He called his dick "The Beast" and said he lived "The Beast Life". He was pretty but it was better if he didn't talk.
can you come here so we can have really loud sex? the girl upstairs walks so loud i want her to know how it feels
of course
Randomize
