it was the least impressive dick i've ever seen... and i've changed babies' diapers.
epic walk of shame this morning involving 2 subway transfers. I need to start sexing locally.
he asked me if i wanted "a hit" off his inhaler. its definitely time for a new roommate
You didn't want to have sex last night because you said your grandpa just died and you didn't want him watching..
You know, I had the money for a pregnancy test, but at the time, tacos were more important.
Would it be weird if I told you I thought of you when I masturbated?
Looks like I'm more than just your Mexico mistake...
what is the protocol for being hungover enough to vomit in a potted plant during my botany lecture?
Or stump rather since he's possibly large. Large penises don't have tips, just blunt ends of battering rams.
I realized I was totally the dude in that hook up. I came first and didn't wanna help him finish. And he had paisley sheets.
Well. Your father was, shall we say, privately surfing the Internet when he found a video of you and Kevin. This was on a very public website honey.
By the way, Kevin! OMG good catch honey!
This late night dumpster diving sesh is making my quads cramp up
Im in my back seat in my own drive way with two beers left to shotgun and watching the sunrise. Am I over her yet?
Like I owe him sex. Hell fucking no. I owe myself sex. With a celebrity. Or a clean pornstar. Who knows.
Mike's my new hero. There's a flagpole of hook-up's bras on his porch and a week's supply of beer in his fridge but he still has a great job.
As long as there is beach, drink, dick, in that order. I’m in.
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