Nice 2 c u showing ur bro some affection
Oh man I wish you'd been in the car w/ me today. I followed a school bus home filled w/ young boys and I flipped them off the entire way. They loved it.
i am sorry to ask, but i need y0ur honest opinion . when i turn sideways to someone, does my nose stick out like a beak ?
My t9 writes chubies instead of bitches.
either way. win, win.
So today I found out that our school is known as the herpes school
just heard a swedish guy suck in helium and speak in his accent. top 5 favorite moments. ever.
We have a drunken confused pantless man in our apt. Boots.
Sorry for feeding you peanuts last night while you were sleeping, you looked hungry.
Ok... I'm a little jealous... Grab her pig tails and ride her like a jet ski. Making motor noises is optional.
We've completely outdone ourselves. We packaged a collective total of six grams of pot and salvia into little bowl-sized tinfoil capsules. It's totally impossible to tell which is which without comparing, every Friday from now on we pick one out and see what the fuck happens
Wait is it okay if I still want to fuck the whole USA swim team or is that only acceptable during the Olympics?
im in the library and there's this guy on a computer just staring at a google image of beer. finals week is rough.
Good thing my vagina doesn't have a chronometer on it. I'm sure my fiance would be horrified. Probably 10 miles from this past weekend alone.
So I crawled off the trampoline to puke in the neighbors yard. Wonderful house guest right here
I just started an apology with "so I'm sorry about throwing the Brita at your head last night..."
Randomize