Culvers...So Good
So good. The butter burgers slip right outta my ass.
I threw up into my coffee this morning.
Just had to explain to the nurse WHERE I have poison ivy. Great Day
Am i fat?
Well i wouldnt let you on top
I've been thinking about it and if we ever have a threesome it'll start off with us clothed solely in our matching fur vests
I guess since this is supposed to be my year of the lesbian it's okay
If everything I've heard is true, then she's lost her virginity three times
Honestly I think at this point I purposefully schedule nothing on Sundays anymore so I can spend all day wallowing in my shame.
Why did I just find out you and Andrew had sex right next to my face when I passed out on the beach?
At the time it seemed romantic and its also extremely frowned down upon to leave a passed out person by themselves in an unfamiliar place.
Why did I wake up by myself then?
You haven't lived until you've watched a retriever try to bring back the condom you just threw in its master's garbage
Another beautiful Sunday, another beautiful day the stick is not positive. Amen.
I don't know about this Sanders guy after all. I'm voting for MYSTERY BABYLON, WHORE OF ALL THE EARTH
Hillary?
She was cleaning herself at the bus stop. She also picked up gum off the ground and ate it
just realized I'll be in a check out line with just Hershey syrup and condoms. I don't know if I am setting a good image for our generation
come on Dane.. ive been there. im like the female version of you, except with morals
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