dude, wtf is with her now? she has stuff up about how i am kicking her while she's down
wtf? who are you bitching about me to now?
We were having sex on the balcony and this guy walked by, so drunkily i said "dont move, he cant see us if we dont move."
Remember when the only STD we had to worry about were hickies? Those were the days
you were standing in two feet of water, screaming at people walking by to "call river rescue".
After 13 tally marks I wrote the number 4,000 and made u sign my arm to prove it.
I asked if he wanted to come over and he said he was busy. Then I sent him a pic of me in the bath with the bottle of wine I already finished and all of a sudden he was free. Booty calls are too easy.
He chipped a tooth on the first beer. You know the night is just going to be a slushy mess after that.
I remember all the people and all the acts I just have to match the person with the act
Things I have learned since the start of my first college spring break: do not fart in an enclosed space (such as a shower stall) when hungover. You will throw up. More lessons to follow as week continues.
would it be mean if I put better with the lights off on my sex playlist just for my hook up with him?
I am the sex elephant in the room. Again.
We're listening to space jam. This can only be a good omen.
Nobody's dick fell into my mouth tonight
I’m home. Please don’t call me unless you have an arterial bleed or you’re on fire. Love you 😘
Don't EVER mix a flaming shot, with a Jello shot.. As good as it sounds flaming Jello is not a good idea
Randomize
