I swear to god Optimus Prime and Megatron are fighting in my head right now.
we are driving next to a guy driving and masturbating while looking at a naked magazine. I love LA
i'm really high, and this is sooooooooooo important. how many frosties does it take to fill a bathtub?
I think my penis got bigger when i lost weight
i just fucked the bartender on my cruise to get free alcohol. have things gone too far?
so i say "rick dont build that sandcastle" and he "says ok i wont" then i wake up and its sandcastle fucking city all over my apartment
His lack of social graces and moral fiber complements mine nicely.
When you turn your data bak on you're gonna get a pic of a nipple but it's not mine
I can't feel my clothes. I'm convinced I'm naked
stop fucking thinking about him when there is A MILLION OTHER PENISES TO RIDE IN THE WORLD
I asked him to change the channel. There was no way I could do reverse cowgirl with golf on.
I wish I could open myself up and check on my liver. Make sure it's hanging on. Ya know?
You were having sex very loudly, so I felt it necessary to blast the Thong Song, bust out the trusty old airhorn and walk in on you. MY BAD.
The car smells like weed is an understatement.
I currently don't understand fingers.
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