no. i seriously look so gross with this sunburn. i wouldnt even wanna bang myself. and im really into myself.
I just cleaned your Jaeger vomit off my car with a knife. Don't ever say I don't love you.
When they saw it was the 7th inning of the baseball game one took off running for the beer stand while his friend is yelling "BUY THE KEG"!
they pretty much knew i was there to get drunk and fuck their daughter
He told me he felt like he shoud say thank you and as a prize i could keep anything from his room that i wanted.
Have you ever had one of those moments when you kept whispering to yourself "I'm not a slut, I'm not a slut..."?
Tonights drinking will be celebratory and victorious. Picture the end of The Mighty Ducks set to beer.
My Saturday dick is so much more impressive than my Tuesday dick.
Last night did I take a piece of pizza out of your hand and then proceed to eat it?
Twice...
we played animal sounds and i linked arms with her cuz we were both cats....fate and my community college drama teacher have chosen my one night stand
We had sex and I never took my mets hat off... I feel like Duda knows and approves.
Best news I’ve heard all day. Cookies and dick. What more could a girl ask for?
I just found vampire teeth and a moustache in my purse. do you know why?
She is beauty she is grace
she’s masturbsting in front of an open window while drunk af 9am
i thought you had class
4 of us. Guys and girls. Were sitting there discussing the passed out half naked Brit girl on the floor. She is no longer the international woman of mystery.
Randomize
