Fuck. sleeping in my sisters room again I heard zombie noises outside my window
Maybe she gives good head
A girl who still calls a dick a "wiener"cannot possibly give good head
Just paid a $5 cover at a bar I stumbled by so I could puke in a toilet and not in public.
Just seen a lady with the back of her head shaved and the rest of her hair in a pony tail like a sumo wrestler with a 6 inch glass dolphin hair clip. Nothing is going to ruin my day.
I respect the size of her balls.
Yeah but I don't respect the size of her anything else.
Walt said he was feeding me so I wouldn't die. that's why there was pasta in my room
NO. ANAL IS NOT A GAME.
I'm gonna call it the Reunion Tour. Hooked up with two different ex girlfriends in one day...
We broke into her grandpa's pool at 2 am and I held my underwear out the window on the way home.
Everyone here knows me as 'that chick who will most likely steal your girlfriend'. My 99% success rate tells me this name is acceptable.
40s are totally the cure
Our relationship needs a sober moment
I'll call you when that happens
Bianca brought a stripper home he's making me breakfast
This Asian instant coffee I found in ur kitchen is like crack. Who knew I could feel my heart beating in my asshole after one cup of this happiness.
Do dollar stores sell vibrators?
Randomize
