I discovered the grieving process is shock, denial, anger...and then something about drinking until you puke on yourself
my coke dealer is running a Black Friday special
It was fun until I shot a pea out of my nose while throwing up. Left over tuna casarole at 3Am was a terrible choice.
Its what im here for. Critiquing penis photos.
A man pulled out his penis last night and when I said I wouldn't touch it, he said, "that's fine it just needs to breathe".
all I wanna do is swim in an Olympic sized pool of Gatorade and tylenol.
I am in my freshman residence hall trying to convince an Asian man to give me my pants back. Never. Drinking. Again.
I'm hungry
Come here to eat and play. It'll be like Dave and Busters except with sex
I found a half-finished mass text from my California weekend that said "things I want to rape: you, things, stuff, and le"
You'd think the dry cleaners next door would be less judgmental for as much business as my theme parties bring them.
I better not get a vid of you penile helicoptering
I am a figure skater. You should know better than to let me get drunk near any patches of ice during Olympics season.
just the thought of you slurpin down noodles really rustles my jimmy
you suck at sexting
My drug dealer was just on ESPN..
I had a good weekend too...although I cried about the dog in a drunken stupor last night...not one of my finest moments, but it's all water under the bridge.
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