Dude, the girl i fucked last night left wearing my high school musical shirt you bought me. she also left her panties here though.
The one with Zac Efrons face on it? You definitely got the short in of the stick. i'd rather have the shirt
fuck. yeah me too. i don't even think these panties would fit me
you got kicked out last night because right after you said "whats up?" to us, you downed your whole vodka ton and threw it across the bar.
He told us that was the only place he could get service when we found him in the closet passed out with a beer
My boyfriend just sent me flowers. I am now crying at the fact i fucked my fat neighbor. God please help me.
Hint of advice dont get with minor league baseball players, you can google their stats but not their stds.
i love all of you. Physical. Emotional. Mental. All of it. When we speak i feel like a feather or a dragon depending on the conversation ...
Indoor beer darts at Rafs just turned into a trust exercise of putting your hand on the wall and closing your eyes while the other throws.. Almost gave Cale a Tracheotomy
Guy, there will be accountabilities this weekend that you will need to respond to, or else.
If you're knocked up, we're telling everyone it's mine and that the power of our love overcame the inherent reproductive limitations of two vhagines.
Omg do you remember last night you kept pointing to your vag asking who wants to play this like a fiddle hahaha
All of my exes are either overweight and neckbearded or dead. Someone out there is looking out for me.
I'll just say I told you so at your funeral
please tell me he didn't just scream 'i am the yiff lord' at the cops
No dude 10 parakeets in your bedroom is 9 parakeets too many. Bring them back. Today!
Alex thinks he can revoke my dick privileges haha.
Isn't he the one getting all the privileges ?
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