How does everyone that never saw me naked know I'm built like a smurf?
Tried killing a moth in our bathroom. Water everywhere. Don't worry about it.
I am not a stalker...i just bring a whole new meaning to the word love
So gin and wine won't be happening again
he's downstairs watching tv with my family... I called the home line so my mom could bring me my make up bag cause my real face would prob make him delete my number
THEY ARE MY AGE. THEY ARE YOUR LITTLE SISTER'S AGE THIS IS A DELICATE MATTER. CAPS LOCK
Sorry no. I've already promised my first single hookup to somebody.
Her mom is home on her lunch break. Guess who's hiding In the Closet?
I don't think it's considwred fine dining when you're passing out at golden palace in chinatown at 4 am with you boss who happens to be wearing a dress.
Oh I will totally be your beard, but on one condition I get to watch you and your boy friend have sex.
I'm still drunk. I put on workout clothes this morning and just puked in my bathroom. That's the same as going to the gym, right?
He was stoned and starts screaming, "I ain't got but a dollar, I wanna hear waterfalls!". Maybe he can hang with us....
If he doesn't get here soon I'm taking off my thong and eating his dinner.
I can see your house from here
Get off of his fucking roof
The language barrier was annoying .... So we just had sex. That is how you deal with not being able to chat isn't it???
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