You don't need id to drink rum in an alley.
booty call
i swear to god if you come over i will kick you in the pussy.
The world needs more lipstick lesbians, if anything.
i just learned how to squirt via google. life is good.
Just spit on a sock to clean a spot on my glass table. Oddest combination of so lazy and motivated ever.
i just went through and liked all 1,239 of her pictures instead of writing my english paper. don't tell her, i want her to be surprised
Before we started fucking, he laid me on the bed, and asked my what my sleep number was, so that i would be "comfy"
i looked up and she was looking over the stall watching me pee and told me to unlock the door. that dedicated to sucking my dick.
I was really excited when he said that condoms didn't fit him, then he added "they fall right off"...
The second I see you we're shot gunning beers
It's gonna be 8 o'clock in the morning
And your point is?
Marry me
Naked. naked and bneed help.
Somehow I became in charge of getting my mother laid? This can't be my life? Lol
I'm kinda glad you won't be in Vegas tomorrow because you'd make us go streaking or throw dead animals at them.
Her boyfriend offered to buy me a vibrator. I'm not sure how to feel about that.
on the bright side i found your panties and the lid to the nutella
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