He like poked it twice with the tip of his tongue then left it alone. I'm sad.
Dude you can sell sperm for 100 to 250 bucks a time. And the best part is there will be kids all over the world that will have me as a daddy. It's like I'm jerking off my way into ruling the world
So bad news they put a private property sign on the tiger.
Until they install cameras or armed security i'll ride the fuck out of that jungle cat.
My mom just asked me if I was gay in front of my gf
you drew a penis with ranch dressing. tried to take a picture of it and dropped your phone in it. Then made moaning sounds while you licked it off.
I got head to The Nanny. Officially gay.
dude they had a "sorry for partying" wall in their house which consisted if all the hospital bills, tickets, detox receipts and court orders they've gotten. The ENTIRE wall was covered.
I already banned bobbing for apples. While drunk that's just drowning near fruit.
It's called the eyeliner-blowjob correlation, read a science book bro
i like feelif swiord YOU ARE A GOD
So we just accidentally broke into a building from the third floor while carrying shovels. The security guards are still very confused
bringing my vibrator into the shower with me. if I don't text back in 30 minutes I have electrocuted myself and died.
May the force be with you.
Your skill with memes is vaguely frightening
I’ve slept with a Senior, a Freshman and a Junior so far. I’m a Sophomore away from hitting for the cycle
We hooked up and he sent me home with a plant and skittles lmao
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