A small cock is a small cock, don't blame the size of my hands
he's washing the lighter in the sink and telling me to picture unicorns. requesting backup.
im still trying to figure out who put the honey mustard in the blender then put the entire blender into the freezer
We had sex in the tent after his 6th beer and while we were at it we had conversations with the people outside the tent.
There was a sweat stain in the shape of a fast chick with low standard on your bathroom floor
my professor saw me buying beer for the super bowl and said go patriots. thats how i know im getting an A in his class.
Got home last night and found a Big Mac in the shower, tampons all over the place, and two pairs of your panties on the front porch.
Made out with a chick in front of a girl I'm banging and successfully reDENNISed her within 9 hours
The worst thing about him living around the corner is that who ever suggests the booty call is the one that walks over.
You told the cop you where the star of the Track team and tried to run away. So yeah, i'm not surprised.
The worst part was when I went to go spit it out and rinse my mouth, his grandpa was in the bathroom, so I had to fucking wait. It was awful. I finally ran to the kitchen and prayed his parents didn't come out of their room.
Ok maybe now I get why I'm single I think I just broke a rib pooping
I don't think Buddha would recommend a sexscpade across Mexico
i believe in u and ur pee
I'm a little concerned about right now. You showed up at my house soaking wet, drunk with a bag of ham and 2 liter of Dr. Pepper, and you refused to tell me where you got the ham until I gave you some more liquor.
Randomize
