So #1 way to come back last night and #2 wishbone and I broke into his house and i opened joey's door and u were both passed out and pantless.
I just saw Sharon Stone's cootch in high def. I think I'll stay gay.
I just used a coupon while buying plan B. The pregnant sales clerk nodded in approval.
you can now officially say a girl has shaved your initials into her pubes. welcome to the club.
I guess she thought her walk of shame would be more dignified if she stole my dog
Listen, you need to start thinking with your vagina and not with your heart... That emotional shit is for your 30s.
She's currently upstairs fucking her boyfriend while I am downstairs making them a sex playlist watching her boyfriend's Weiner dog and large Boxer try and mount each other. Marvin Gaye is playing. This is the ultimate third wheel fail.
Dude. Her vagina is a blender.
It was technically 11... But I go by McDonald's time, if they aren't servin breakfast, it's the afternoon. Therefore I can drink
also. got fucked to usher last night. dunno if thats a new high or a new low
Was it at least a good usher song?
Dreamt I had my own personal vibrator rep, who made house calls. I earned an upgrade to an electric model, since I was burning through batteries. That's it. Time for a bf.
I 100% barfed while bumping the DMX remix of reading rainbow
sometimes i just have a bad day n consider lowering my standards
tonight's safe word is brought to you by the phrase "Ahhhhhh"
Just boned her on my desk. on top of my term paper. take that professor dipshit
Randomize
