Everytime we come here you have an ex here.
It was my first time buying condoms at the liquor store... I was nervous and there were quite a few people, so I tried to do it as quickly and quietly as possible. When I got to the Indian cashier, he took one look at them and said loudly, "Ohhh you gonna get it on tonight, ah?!"
mom just called and i was mid bong hit but i answered anyways coughing and sounding rough she the apologized for waking her little angel up. its 2PM
i just farted in a meeting....took me completely by surprise.
so you made the shocked face and they caught you.
yup.
You're having sex and i just smoked and made oatmeal...i'll give you some time to be jealous
If you dedicate your next bite to me, I'll dedicate my first orgasm to you.
you started crying because you didn't get to wear your rainboots this week so i turned on the shower and let you jump around in it
youre the best friend ever
I just sneezed cum. He better have a damn good day at work.
New major. Tourism Management. I dont know what it is but it sounds like something all the stupid slutty failed business management majors do.
Wasn't a date. In exchange for artichoke dip I received a bj. And sex. It was a transaction.
I don't care if he's straight, his cock will be in my mouth by midnight. Like a closeted Cinderella.
we found him passed out on the baseball field with two 40oz and wearing a tophat.
Where did he get the tophat?
Locals got pissed I was talking to the barmaid. Tried to tell me that they keep all the good beer at "a Soho walkup" Google saved me
I know him enough to fuck him but not enough to give him advice.
He spilled some of his beer on your shoulder then proceeded to lick it off. By the face you made, I don't know if you were completely horrified or really turned on.
I am now banned from the bar... Because you got head from my ex in the woman's restroom
Randomize
