Walk of Shame. In a state park.
You don't understand, alcohol has become a thing of survival for me and without it I can't function as a normal human being
and now I know what throwing up pineapple chunks is like.
Yeah, we had those soaking in vodka for like 36 hours
outstanding.
mom just told me i had to find a fake by next wednesday.
Don't worry. I has chaperone.
Sorry I forced you to take an adderall at 1am and then proceeded to dance to Lose Yourself outside of Qdoba.
Whoever was the last to get in from the chinese firedrill had to pay the dealer.
Just missed the last train for another 5 hours. There are balls in or around the mouth of my life.
Def just hooked up with my brother's senior prom date in his bed. Does that make me the worst brother ever?
No more. You can't have nice things, and vodka is a nice thing.
I went to work hungover and threw up in the break room. Told them I was pregnant and then said I quit. I don't have a job now, thanks vodka.
I'M GOING TO FUCK AN ENTIRE ORCHESTRA AND NOTHING CAN STOP ME
The band club does not count as an orchestra
I just realized my hands still smell like your cock. Which is awesome, but I wonder if the clerk at the store appreciated it.
I feel bad. I'm the reason hand sanitizer exists.
You can be responsible and still be on that ho life
I didn't want dick. I wanted spaghetti.
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