why is it that everyone in pennsylvannia gets fucking prego??
She looked like a pterodactyl.....but dude i love dinosaurs
it was like i was on a global safari of uncircumcised men
My dealer's mom died on christmas eve. Is it too soon to see if he's holding?
Dude they have your information. Come back. The sheriffs office is here, they are pissed..please come back otherwise jail is inevitable. Call me
since when did our medecine drawer and our sex drawer become the same drawer? we now have lube covered cough drops.
The strip clubs here are like a safari of penis, and I'm gonna bag me a rhino.
What is she getting? Last time we talked her behavior was conducive to getting a tramp stamp on her face.
She just pored wine down the turkeys hole and said that she christened it like the whore that it is...happy thanksgiving.
Yea. Some girl set a laundry machine on fire. She's not getting married.
Yeah I don't remember how I got home last night
Judging from my pants, I embarrassed myself smh
His name is Angel. I'm pretty sure he was sent from heaven solely to eat me out.
CODE RED CODE RED MY VIBRATOR IS BROKEN THIS IS NOT A DRILL
I just came rly close to telling a dude that I want to chew on him and there should be an oil painting of his ass up in the louvre before I realized that isn't how flirting is supposed to go
I felt like I should've driven him home but I was holding in a fart and just needed him to leave
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