Apparently at one point I was wearing my sweatshirt backwards like it was normal and then I threw up into the hood. Never drinking again.
It says i should accept HIV aids as my friend on facebook.We have 12 friends in common. I need new friends.
i went through the entire semester and only just now realized there's a girl in my history class that i've hooked up with.
So for a second i just thought clitoris was a disease.
yea im pretty sure it has something do with my love of forearms...
She's riding a tiny four-wheeler and has a Dos Equis in her hand. I at least have to meet her.
What was the name of that place where we saw that concert? It was like a warehouse and some guy was living in the loft above the stage...
It's called: a legit place to drop acid.
He said the last thing he remembered thinking was: 'Why is this vagina spinning?' Too drunk sex is no ones friend.
Apparently all year they've been using me as a standard of drunkenness
Had to sacrifice my vibrator batteries to the thermostat gods. I had a dirty dream and also almost a heat stroke.
the girl next to me was drawing sonic the hedgehog on her exam what the fuck
godspeed
Gave her a puke bucket just in case. She filled the bottom of it with tears. Super sad. Although I am super proud she didn't puke. That was a lot of Fireball.
I was at a hookups house and peed in his sink so I wouldn't wake up his mom... drunk me is on a different level
I know we're not on great terms here, but I need to know if you're still available for sexual activity...cause if not I need to get going on a work-out plan.
my roomie eats chipotle far too often. when i was looking for a bag to throw up in I had my choice of a wlamart bag and 10 chipotle bags
Randomize
