Where are you?
In a non slutty way
I think taking a nice shit is a lot more satisfying than an orgasm. This is probably why I'm single.
that shit musta been laced I laughed for two hours and everyone looked like penguins
They were like stripper heels, except business stripper heels, the kind strippers would wear to court.
We're going to play a drinking game. It's called "Senior Year of College."
Well look at it this way, if he should happen to get into a terrible accident within the next 2 days, its okay.. i have his dental records on my ass cheek.
I'm more concerned with the fact that he was UNconcerned that live poultry could peck him in the nutsack @ any moment of sex
I'm bringing vagina and cookies. You'll be fine.
i just remember sliding through the snow and yelling i love america before puking on the oncoming cars
Hey its me your friend who impressed the pharmacist by already knowing the generic version of plan b by name
I feel like my body was put in a dryer with rocks set on permanent press.
I found a guy who will take me to the Olive Garden and he is CONVENTIONALLY ATTRACTIVE.
He doesn't want a full on relationship, he provides me with all the weed I can handle and gives me multiple mind blowing orgasms. He's my soul mate.
Well there's only 4 people in my class, we've watched a video, the instructors encouraged us to start using cocaine and now we are on break.
It's been productive.
sigh, if only his dick was as big as his mouth
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