The guy asked if i had a problem w/set schedules
Anal astronaut?
Wow word travels fast.
I love her so much that if I could have sex with her I wouldn't cuz my dick would feel out of place in such a perfect body/vagina
Dude, she knew her leg was on fire and she kept dancing. Bad-fucking-ass.
can I come stay the night
yeah, but no sex tonight
I'll stay home
Is it ironic that the girl with the horse face is also on the equestrian team?
I don't even want to think about the kind of person who would shit in the street before 10pm on a Sunday.
dude I just got a noise complaint from my apartment people for loud sexual activities. I'm framing this for sure
I think this agreement was sent by God. I get to do my own thing, get laid, and he still makes me breakfast in the morning.
Between the uncertainly of my bowels today, and the distance the bar is to my house, remember I am doing this for you and our mutual appreciation of alcoholism.
And all you did was hit on me and do things "for America", so you weren't judged heavily
That guy drinking savagely was actually at his buddy's gay bachelor party in the male stripper section. He came over to the chicks side so we drank with him.
He had some sort of penis-related post traumatic stress disorder, but body shots seemed to wake him up
You would be so proud at how green we're being. Re-using last night's jello shot containers.. saving the world one step at a time
Yet he continued to eat cereal out of the glove compartment in my car.
I need to see you idiots before I go back to school. But we shouldn't snort Crown Royal this time.
Randomize
