My new storm is the chrons
The only reason I needed a new one is bc I threw up on my other one(248): And since Verizon doesn't have a throw up test, I was eligible for a new one
new revelation: five guys for breakfast
new revelation: previous revelation not a good revelation
A 20 minute car ride back to your car with the girl u had drunk anal with is the most uncomfortable thing ever.
We banged through her entire lady gaga playlist. I can die happy now
only you would end up drunk at a subway with a one-eyed homeless man
You fought the bouncer and lost, then challenged a hobo to a 40 chugging contest and lost. Sobriety is a good life choice.
Is it too early to start a donation jar for my 4th of july hospital bills?
My neighbour is taking her hamster for a walk on a leash. Come over now
No cash. I had to buy four bowls of soup to meet the credit card limit. I'm not even upset. SO MUCH SOUP.
Due to last night I think a roommate constitution should be made. The first law will be designed to prevent any chicks below a 4 to enter the house.
How much more is Amanda Bynes going to rip out our hearts?!?!?
our relationship was basically a one night stand, with a three week long, morning after
I'm sorry. I slept with him again. On the plus side he's got better at it!
You faceplanted on the railroad tracks and when I tried to tell you to get up, you told me you were "taking a quick breather"
I had a good weekend too...although I cried about the dog in a drunken stupor last night...not one of my finest moments, but it's all water under the bridge.
Randomize
