Dude judst bought snd smokked tfour white widoew jointsd in Asmsterdam. Wstching the Cvhiefs gsme. Oh Boy.
You are why other countries hate Americans. But I say God bless you.
Why did I wake up with "How to masturbate" on my youtube search bar?
You told us you forgot how, and started to cry.
She wants her shit back. Clearly she missed the cheaters-get-their-shit-ritually-burned clause.
Apparently we had sex last night, and then I made him drive me to the beach so I could puke in the ocean.
that girl from work that wants to bone me just said 'the last time i went this long without sex was in jail'. sup, red flag
We told our cab driver we'd give him 3 grand if he pit maneuvered you guys in your cab.
U have to come, I miss the sound of you throwing up.
It sounds miserable..I have to wear a dress and it's a cash bar?
And they were awkwardly all over each other in a Christian way.
Wow, im gonna be a great doctor..."hi let me save your life but first check out this pic of me deep throating a handle of grey goose"
She got tired so now we're making anyone who has a stupid idea go into her bedroom so she can sleepslur "good idea" or "baaaad idea." We're calling her the queen of the misguided.
They're fighting and it sounds intense. Cross your fingers for their demise
Toss in some raw meat and play heavy metal music. It will insight violence.
I don't want sex or anything I just really need someone to appreciate how shiny my hair is
If u ever apologize to me for "too-rough" sex again I will suspend ur all-access pass to my vagina indefinitely
Sorry I banged your sister. But in my defense you ain't fucked me in a month. In fact I should get a medal for keeping it in your family.
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