I'm sitting here watching a kid lick a basketball- where have i gone wrong in life?
I made him drop me off at the wrong house waited for him to leave and crawled through several fences so he couldnt stalk me. How was your night?
not good my parents heard a big thud and found me passed out in the bathrrom abt an hr ago. hit my head arm and side. dont remember. real talk.
I'm like a walking PSA for tequila shots
all i remember was her shitting herself and asking me to call her parents.....i so didn't. when i woke up she was gone and left a note saying "we will be lovers forever"
im in the library and there's this guy on a computer just staring at a google image of beer. finals week is rough.
I did something similar high once. I stopped like 30 feet in front of a stop sign because I felt like it was running towards me and I started crying. Got out my car and hugged it and told it not to run away people need it.
Im going to be coked out with hello kitty fire arms. Valentines day can suck my dick
she keeps a switchblade in her panty drawer... i am both terrified and slightly turned on
I was just wicked nice to a telemarketer... that's how stoned this woman got me.
He's 5'2" and his dick 4'8"
Plus he is a pilot so I could give him flight dome
WHERE THE FUCK IS MY ARM DO YOU HAVE ANY IDEA HOW DIFFICULT IS IS TO TYPE WITH ONE HAND
I 100% barfed while bumping the DMX remix of reading rainbow
Don't get mad at me now, you have my car and all the doughnuts
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