i wonder if she gts uncomfortable walkin bu when she knows we all know what her pussy tastes like
Don't worry. I just took 2 benadryls and beat off. I'm practically sleep texting
Its officially tradition: I black out every year on michael jackson's death day..
I hit her tiny dog with a horseshoe an hour ago. Her and her mom cried as it laid on the ground shaking. Im drunk.
Didn't I tell you I have developed a shameless theory about farting anywhere and everywhere? I'm too pretty so no one suspects me.
I woke up this morning at 8 to my roommates still drunk, hanging out on the roof, and screaming at bikers. They couldn't figure out why they were into it.
Omg. I'm making you a chocolate and "herb" birthday cake and using joints for candles. I'm gunna need moms help with this!
I feel like every man should aspire to get a blowjob from a sword swallower.
I found out my butt plug has a metal core at the airport security checkpoint...
you got into a really intense arguement about protecting bees. it was wierdly arousing.
Idk... he wears anklets.. i dont think i can get past that.
If you gave someone an std. would you say a muffin basket, a candy gram or an edible arrangement is a better choice to send them?
after the ketamine those signs on the bathroom door had little meaning to us
Dont care about too tired for sex, thank you for leaving your laser pointer. I have now determined both my cats are stupid.
They stopped fighting to partake in M&Ms and porn.
Randomize
