All I've ever wanted to do in life is right
Maybe you should learn how to spell write first
Is it 'vaginas' or 'vaginae?'. Either way there were a shit ton of them.
Let's just say there's a reason that "suede" rhymes with "laid".
We were playing flip cup on the nice dining room table. Losing team had to shamwow the table in between rounds
new hobby: convincing random sorority girls around campus that we hooked up last weekend. i'm 2 for 5.
I want an alcoholic time machine so we could skip to new years eve
we found a loaf of bread in my bathroom i believe its yours. sorry i took a shower before we noticed so it might be soggy
Chuck job is nothing more than to be my dick stand when I'm too drunk to hold it while pissing
Long story short he broke into a preschool and threw all their cones into a tree.
OH GOD NOT SANTA BABY. NO NO NO. YOU'RE LIKE 85. OMG MULTIPLE WOMEN. NO NO NO STAHP.
I encourage you to ignore feeling. Drinking more helps
If I take one more surprise finger up the ass this week there will be hell to pay.
But what if there are 6 people and they end up just pairing the off into 3 couples. Is it still an orgy?
I made out with that lesbian chick for a blunt. NO REGRETS.
The sex would be better if it wasn’t interrupted because his home detention ankle monitor needed charging. At least I know he’s not cheating on me
Do you even hear yourself?
Randomize
