So just talked to them hahah i like that people sat there and watched as you two made out... They said they even had to refill their beers
Lol i'z typing this with my 962 nose
962=my?
Yeah.i
I wanna fuck padma even more now that she's preggers. Is that sick?
Yes but- 100% agreed
I'm pretty sure God is rooting for me with this two gf thing
you spent 5 minutes trying to open an empty PBR and kept saying "don't worry i'll get it i've been working out"
Most sexually ambiguous night of my life. Kept switching from the NBA finals to the Tonys.
I wish someone would just come knock on my door and fuck me already so that me and my stuffed animals aren't the only ones who see my amazing spring break tan. I'm not getting skin cancer so I can just sit here abstinent.
He wheeled me around walmart in a cart, and stole at least 30 dollars of junior mints fpr me. Best date ever.
that's how you measure success
By how bad my vagina hurts on a Tuesday morning while I'm trying to figure out how I got white girl wasted on a Monday?
Swear to god you say cuddle bunny one more time and honest to god I will sacrifice a bunny on the hood of your car
First stoner thought of the day: Life would be so much better if there were more things that were biscuits and gravy flavored.
him and the cab driver we buy e from got into a fist fight, about which show is better, futurama or family guy.
Btw, remind me to tell you about how I had to cancel my crazy wild sex plans with Will b/c my roommate came back from his trip after a day b/c Canada wouldn't let him in. Fucking cockblock.
Actually that's the whole story. You don't have to remind me.
He gave us beer and shots and made us pizza in his brick oven before firing a handgun into the air to signal it was time to give us a ride in his inflatable raft to the bars.
He's like a mythological figure
Don’t drink the Bloody Mary - it’s vodka and salsa.
Randomize
