Are you dead
Yes
Oh man
Someone fed me too many chicken nuggets and sexed me too hard
I went down on her for at least a half hour, She loved it, so I thought she'd recip. She said "I only do that if I know I'm getting something out of it."
SHUT IT DOWN.
It would be been irresponsible not to make cleaning the apartment into a drinking game
It' a whole new level of walk of shame. I'm carrying his sheets since I have a washer/dryer.
Not going outside. I may melt into a puddle of wine
The good news is the house is clean, the bad news is someone redecorated the bonus room by spray painting "free willy" on the wall in honor of the girl who passed out in there last night.
Aside from the fact that im drinking wine straight from the bottle to save doing dishes, im also standing in front of the oven to save turning on the heater. its gonna be a rough winter.
NO. ANAL IS NOT A GAME.
You gotta pick a side. My suggestion: side with tits.
Champagne pong turned into an expensive and painful experience.
It's official. Those are now your come fuck me flipflops
yeah...well...life isn't all puppies & lap dances
After we won I just ran all over campus for a couple hours. Then made out with a guy on a bench
I just typed "I've got a friend" and my phone autocompletes to "that's a dick appointment". What is my life.
Puked up breakfast after doing my first minze shot in a while, but that shot was to Trump losing the election, so it's all good.
Randomize
