if your leaving for the weekend then im farting on your pillow
I want to give my boyfriend great head for his birthday...can i practice on you?
States back in the final four. Now our sunday night drinking has purpose. Sparty on baby.
Attention: due to the power outage we will not be playing drinking games and watching the royal wedding. Bring your own bottle and we'll just drink in silence.
Please make the clown in the corner stop judging me. I mean he's the one with paint on his face. I don't need him judge judying me.
Trying to figure out which chair my head was under last night
They have a stripper pole on their deck. Normal.
I woke up at 6am to a knock and a naked guy at my window.
I'm pretty sure I just discovered what the American Dream is said the person eating a hotdog for breakfast in bed in her underwear
My favorite bartender added me on Facebook. Now he can clearly see how under 21 I am
Defrosting my uncrustable with my laptop...Hungover dinner
I didn't mind you coming over, just I'm quite sure most booty calls don't involve a scavenger hunt...
Just because your gf gives mediocre bjs doesn't mean I can fill that void
Well I've made a drinking game out of the Wiggles but I think I've got this babysitting thing down
No, Ethan, handcuffs and friendship bracelets are not "basically" the same thing.
Randomize
