Im so hungover
Come over i have rolls
Ecstasy rolls or Challah rolls?
She just said she finds Tyler Perry funny... this is not going to work.
according to the woman who took my blood today, i have "party veins"
She told me that when she orgasms she just lays there like that baby from teenmom. Who the fuck says that
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
He's just giving off this "someone be a bitch to me" vibe
My head feels like a nest made of hair and cum
You got her pregnant one week before your vasectomy? You couldn't wait one week to cheat on me?
White people are beatboxing! Save me.
We'll just charge in there, all pant less and fabulous demanding he give back her ferret.
Somehow I ended up in a different costume dancing with some tree of a guy in the basement bathroom, what did you give me?
Sorry your girlfriend got you a valentines present and you forgot to get her one.
How long will your dick be dry?
ive started thanking my toys after masturbating. might be time to get some fuck boys
I found your birth control, it was in your Crown Royal bag.
Dude. I just got a visual of u climbing over a bathroom stall to save my life.
Randomize
