He's a firefighter, who has his own band. I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
He looked me straight in the eye when he was fingering me last night...it was very serial killer.
it's a "shave your legs in the cvs bathroom" kind of night
She came over and gave me a handy and then just lingered for a day and a half. Worst weekend ever.
he payed over $300 just to break into the hotel pool and skinny dip alone for 5 minutes and then peace in a cab. and all he had to say for himself was "gotta go swimming, gotta live life"
where do u find these people!?
I'm lying topless with an eye infection at the foot of my bed with a dog between my legs. With disney in the background. Its one of those 3 am moments
This is actually a pretty big deal for him. I mean, he contacted a stranger out of concern for someone else instead of for sex.
That does show growth.
He ripped off my pantyhose and all I could think was, "oh no those were clinic-appropriate!" That's what I get for ditching a continuing education meeting to go hook up with my scuba instructor.
Do you think if i wear this shirt with my bengals boxers this kid will fall out of love with me a little bit because that's what I was going for.
When cunnilingus is one of the first 25 words you say to someone there's a problem
#reasonsyoushouldnthaveatinder
Am I just high or is she having an auction for her vagina on Twitter
Listening to sad Lana Del Rey songs together is an integral part of the lesbian bonding process
and then after the older sorority girl asked me his name she said "he gave me the rest of his mcdonalds and I decided to go home with him. it was the best that I could hope for my night"
I woke up next to him with nothing on and my thong around his neck. I just put my clothes on and left, but he still has my thong.
So drunk me is not subtlety trying to get her boss to cheat on her husband and have a lesbian affair with me. Sober me is ok with that.
Randomize
