Journey is playing on the radio....I think it is a sign I am going to pass my drug test
she's walking around the room telling people she can make the room move with her mind and then she shakes her head really fast yelling 'see?!'
He passed out drunk on top of me. Fully erect. Still inside me. Woke up like 1 minute later, and continued.
SHE JUST SHOVED MY HAND DOWN HER PANTS AT THE BAR
Don't text me with that hand
why is there a fishing net hanging from my ceiling fan?
I look like one classy bitch running in heels through my backyard while carrying a small dog and a large bottle of booze. How am I still single?
Seems like you've kicked summer 2012 off well.
But mostly fuck him senseless. Render him speechless. Have him look at my vagina and wonder, "WHAT SORCERY IS THIS?!"
He gave me one look and told me I'm not allowed to board the plane if I'm still as drunk by departure time.
A reason for us to be drunk all week National Singles Week
Once you've seen a girl stick a snake in her snatch normal stuff seems like Barney and friends
Please come over, I'm slowly melting into a ball of sexual frustration. If I'm not dead by the end of the day be very surprised.
Though I do have to question why i found you and my brother passed out on his bedroom floor, no clothing between you except his tie wrapped around your dick
I can't sleep. My mind keeps asking "turn down for what?" but it won't accept any of my answers.
I was not drunk. There was Star Wars, sex, and baby oil.
Thanks. I just smoked a bowl topless so I'm in heaven right now.
Randomize
