I'm at a Rock of Love themed party. New high? New low? I can't tell.
Wait. Scratch that. It's not themed. These girls are just sluts.
her facebook pictures are like a timeline of all the guys she's screwed.
Apparently I confessed my love for him last night. Also, my love for cash4gold commercials.
Nothing like a Mormon bachlorette party to make you feel slutty
I had something called a trashcan. Never again. I almost fucked chewbacca.
I blew him and did charles barkley impressions at the same time. what a pro
I almost went home with him but then my hydroxycut fell out of my purse at the bar and I ran away
He has a bathrroom scale in his room with an alarm attached to it so anything over 150 sets it off and in his drinking stupper he can make a run for it.
I'm sorry I threw a frog in your car last night.
sometimes you just gotta rip off the nipple tape and get it done.
Last night was great... In the "I got videotaped making out and getting a handjob on the couch in front of 100 people." kinda way.
All I want to do is lay in my bed and eat hotdogs
I just set my mike's hard down and didn't want it to spill, so I held my finger up and told it to shoosh. I'm drunk.
I think I hear the ice cream truck
I could be going crazy though
NO IT IS THE ICE CREAM TRUCK IT'S ALMOST AT YOUR STOP
TSA found the edibles
Fuck
Oh my god he just. Swiped them for explosives and handed them back to me
God bless California
Randomize
