either fucking kiss her or kick her ass to the curb. Either way I can hear everything you are saying
last night i used 411 to try and contact britney spears.
dollar well spent
I'm pretty sure my roommate has taken plan B more times than i've had sex. Not sure how that makes me feel.
The sex was great until she started shouting, "Succeed!, Succeed!" Then it was like I was fucking a motivational speaker. Awkward.
I prob couldn't even get his attention if I had a dick growing out of my forehead
I saw someone get arrested while I was moving out...this has to be a good sign.
Id fuck him but only at his house and he had to stay im bed till i left. He only works upper body. It just creeps me out how tiny his legs are
Yeah. Got a major ego boost when she said she felt like she had just fucked King Arthur. Buying some donuts later to celebrate with, wanna join?
You 2012 self promised me that you would do LSD with me, and it's 2015 now. So.
Plus, I'm basically a doctor, so what could go wrong.
Text me later if you aren't dead and wanna have a drink later
Does sweetest day count when you're spending it with your fuck buddy, high and eating Pizza Hut?
I'm not the type to go to a guys house...in your case his boat...and sleep with them..I mean I have in the past but I'm trying to be more serious and grown up
You ask to touch his thighs ten times and called them magnificent.....need I say more
Your aunt just offered to blow me for a ride home....how did you end up such a prude?
Also I think I set a new personal record. Definitely slept with him less than 45 minutes after meeting him. Oh god my life.
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