no morals, dignity, or self respect ... just an empty condom wrapper and a facebook request
If i spent $300 & took that thing home i would hate myself today.
found a rock and smashed the sliding glass door. home safe. screen door is locked so we're good.
Nice. Don't spend your therapist's co-pay on Jaeger bombs.
Will you push me around in a wheel chair, introduce me to people, and say nothing as I get up and walk away?
Oh I love our desires, it's riding my bike at 2 AM with a massive erection that I dislike.
lesson learned.. dressing up like a naughty teacher doesn't mean you can get away with spanking a cop with a ruler for being "fresh" with you
Why are your underwear on my dining room table?
I, soberly, gave myself a concussion trying to take a pic of my vagina. Fuck you and your hangover.
It wasn't your birthday, you weren't supposed to be the drunk one
When people keep buying you drinks at the bar because they like you, you can't say no to them
After all this I still can't spell gonorrhoea without autocorrect
You can’t homewreck what the Lord hath brought together.
My son's girlfriend just thanked me for having good penis genes.
Just saw a girl I banged wearing a pro life shirt downtown. Not sure where to start with that.
She sent a group text pic called "Assemble" of his dick next to her forearm.
I'm down.
Randomize
