i want to be waterboarded, just to see what all the fuss is about
We can't ever have kids because there's a chance that they'll end up just like us.
True Life: I puke at bars and try to catch it in my hand...then walk away like it didn't happen
I spent my night drunkenly staring at a picture of John Stamos. How do you think I feel?
I bet they don't have a scenario slide on how to deal with a suggested three way with counsel during harassment training.
For some reason 'start yourself on fire drunk' isn't nearly as funny after last 4th of july..
Thursday nights need to stop happening to me.
Pro: Drunk Portland Strip Club. Con: Monday morning hangover at work. Pro: boobs. Con: Sleep deprivation. The Pro's are winning.
I would agree. Add some coffee to the booze. It will cut down on sleep deprivation.
I feel like a pizza delivery girl of vagina tho
Here's what I don't understand. How does anyone watch you eat mayo for 12 minutes and then ever fuck you again??
I just took three of the most beautiful hits of my life. As elegant and smooth and delicate and graceful as figure skating
After sex he just told me I'm definitely pregnant and it's a girl. Should I run?
Yeah we were on bar number 7 on our bike trail and you decided to steal my bike and we found you 20 minutes later eating Cheetos in the shallow end of your parents pool
And I woke up by myself with peanut butter.. Cool
You had a 45min conversation with the Ronald McDonald statue I have the video to prove it
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