It was then that he suggested we all nibble ears. A nibble circle.
how are pickles made is in the google history again... why do you always wonder that, and forget the answer?
Woke up with an epic boner today, the kind where you can spin books and shit on it. FYI: don't try spinning an encyclopedia
I might scale it back and go as an investment banker. Which is the exact same costume as James Bond on LSD. I just introduce myself differently.
The cops forgot your handle of tequila when they took you away. Taking shots in your honor amigo
Just found out he cheated on me last night. But its Shark Week so I will deal with it next week.
I know you think I'm being paranoid, but can you please make sure Danny doesn't rub my wedding invitation on his balls?
She said she was jealous that i could wear headbands, then growled at the ground in shame..
I hope your sleeping good cuz when u wake up im punching you square in the face
I won't apologize to a one balled man
Yeahhh, everybody is so helpful when a pretty girl is crying hysterically and has only one shoe and a six pack.
I vaguely remember taking a yard light, holding it up like the statue of liberty, and all of us at the party chanting the national anthem. What a glorious night
The party was Hollywood themed and I won an oscar for "finest ass in a leading role"
I’m not closing myself off the to the possibility of making a bad life choice.
is it sad that the highlight of my saturday night was waiting till 3 in the morning to hear about your saturday night?
Randomize
