it's taking a lot of effort to be mature and not reply to her with like a video of bestiality porn
make any headway on the foot/dick situation?
MY DAD AND I ARE ON OUR WAY OUT OF FLORENCE AND I JUST SAW A MAN AT A BUS STOP WITH A GIMP HAND SLAP HIS DAUGHTER ACROSS THE FACE WITH IT.
dude. how can brian from family drink at fucking bars? he's a dog and definitaly doesn't have pockets.
i went through the entire semester and only just now realized there's a girl in my history class that i've hooked up with.
definitely just fell out of bed trying to plug in my phone. when did laziness start getting painful?
She passed out on top of the bar. Still did body shots off her.
I couldn't function. I was to the point where I was using a bottle cap as a monocle.
I just don't know the best way to tell him I think I saw him in a porn. I mean I got off to it, isn't there some level of awkwardness there?
My bra is still on the porch...I'm leaving it as a reminder to get my shit together.
My dad sent me a 10 ft beer bong and my mom sent me ideas for future careers. I'll let you guess who my favorite parent is. Also, come over tonight. and bring beers.
I'm on day 4 of clean eating. I call it the "whore by June" program
He called me in the middle of the night to ask my shoe size. Apparently big feet would make me an unsatisfactory third for the threesome.
Yeah yeah I know I have to bring your dog back.
Since when is my clitoris pierced?
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