everytime someone famous vagina shows up in pics, i have to go check my own vagina to make sure mine dont look all wrinkledy and flabby like that....i want my lips plump and succulent
i'm drinking margaritas from a pouch...really dont think i'm in the position to judge anyone...
I like to balance the number of cups of coffee to bong rips in the morning before work.
There's a bachlorette party going on at the bowling alley, so we'll see who wins greatest shitshow tonight.
I just think that if you're going to run around naked outside, a feather boa should be involved. Half for the flair and half for an emergency cover.
Okay hun. Well my neighbors haven't called the cops yet so I think we're good. No more burning in the yard.
I was convinced to buy a man thong.
But it's Armani so it's okay.
God I just out gayed myself.
I sent him this really overly apologetic text asking him out. It was just sad. Not even 27 shots of whiskey can grow me a self-esteem.
So I am watching ghostbusters and I realized Rick moranis is basically in the friends zone than he turns into the key master bangs her and it leads to the end of the world...maybe there is a reason people are in the friend zone
I decided taking Molly and seeing Birdman seemed like a wise life choice.
That's why i need nudes. Plutonic nudes.
Uber driver offered to have sex with me since I went home solo. - rock bottom
The frequency with which I change my vibrator batteries is getting a little ridiculous....
FUCK ME I smuggled weed onto a plane by accident
He ate me out in a golf cart while I watched the sunset. You are so right, golf skirts do provide amazing access.
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