your thong is hanging out like whoa
Do you have a shampoo for semen
Or a time machine
Cruel joke of nature. Hair on head runs from face, and hides on various parts of body. Aging sucks.
I'm pretty sure the new "vibrating mascara" is just a disguised dildo for those of us who are too ashamed to purchase a real one.
Well, at least their eye lashes will look good while they masturbate shamefully.
i wish there was a photo editing effect that fully opened my drunk eyes
I don't want to smoke with her when she's on adderall. She carved her pumpkin for four hours & didn't say a word.
seriously my hangover is so bad I feel like my eye lashes make blinking a workout
When she was dating that guy she told me If they broke up, I would receive a call and no matter what I was doing I'd have to go over a fuck her. It's like being an EMT for sex.
in fingerprint form on my ass. Seriously not cool. \ni bruiiiseeee like a delicate fruiiiitttt. Heeeaaarrr the rythymmm
I'm hoping that banging a 24 year old 3 times cancels out banging that freshman on Wednesday
Her one night stand followed us to mass. This is too funny for real life.
Check 'smoke weed with our ihop waiter' off of our To-Do List
I feel like that's something that he should've asked me over dinner..... instead of with his hand down my pants? maybe not
as a guy is it bad that even my mom called me easy?
His wife found the thong I “forgot” in his glovebox
Randomize
