It was confusing and full of hummus
I got a chicken sandwich and a frosty out of her. Better then having sex
i think you know its gunna be a bad day when it starts with throwing up into a red plastic cup
You made me wash my hair in the kitchen sink while eating bay leaves
Its not even 10am and we are talking about what guys assholes we would finger.
my nipple ring is gone but someone was nice enough to replace it with a paperclip
If I die young bury me in satin. And make sure there's a taco bar at my funeral.
So hungover. Walked into room and poached their catering before realized in wrong place. Scowled and ate it anyway
I swear if he puts my hand anywhere near his dick tonight I'm "accidentally" leaving all my rings on
well i don't NEED my liver but it's nice to have one when you're trying to have a good time
It was like, once I started flashing you, I couldn't stop.
I mean I only got hit in the ass with ONE firework
I might run out into oncoming traffic. Id rather break my legs and/or die then continue with today.
He just compared our sex to a grand slam on Wii fitness
You're doing it right
chicken nuggets make me a bit homicidal
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