how do chicks with those acryllic nails wipe their anuses?
Dude. He drives a mini. Therefore he's a virgin
After some trial and error I found soaking my balls in maple syurip helps ease the pain.
High gym went like this: I went to Dairy Queen instead.
I CRIED after phone sex. Am I gay?
I think I broke my hip playing drunk ping pong
He has been feeding me cheesecake and candy for breakfast. Naked. For three days. How am I ever going to leave????
So what your saying is I can use her desperation to my advantage. Fuck, this must be how pretty girls feel.
Bouncer came into the bathrooms to tell us the old one-person-per-stall rule, realised it was two girls banging, and left us to it. Lesbiperks.
I'm still, like... really stoked about not having any STDs
Stay positive! You think people like sad vaginas? NO! You'll get some!
I just made some sangria and taking a roadie on my stroller walk around the hood! Parenting at its finest
Nothing makes the walk of shame as great as disapproval from a mom getting ready for work
He stood next to me peeing as I was puking behind a car in the parking lot, telling me how much he loved me. On the other hand, he loves me!
Either I'm getting old or the shit show is playing earlier than it used to...
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