He made a note in his iPhone tonight so that he would remember that I rejected him.
Who wants to bang the sort of girl you can get with Axe body spray??
How do I tell my mom that she just went to the gym with my water bottle filled with vodka...
you both peed in the photobooth after the pictures were taken.
Swallowing. Like you said. Lions. Always.
I want to be ashamed of the things we do this weekend
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
The bathroom smells like ribs. What did you do?
Lesbians had sex in my bed last night. It's a thing of pride
Yo, how much weed can I get for a caf swipe?
She was totally amazed that i had the pizza delivery timed to coincide with our nooner and that the delivery boy knew where the broom closet on the 3rd floor was.
I dunno what's worse, that one guy here said he'd blow somebody for Tim Horton's right now, or that someone else looks like they want to test his sincerity.
Come get me, I'm fucking scared.
Every text my dad sends me is an AA mantra. Might be time to take a look at my life.
Can't. I'm doing shots with my mom.
Somewhere on my work laptop I have a map visualizing all the area codes that Ludacris has ho's
I hope that wasn't done on billed time
I can guarantee that it was
Randomize
