That cute girl I hooked up with last night clawed my back to hell and gave me a hickey. I look like a white trash warewolf victim
thanks for stopping by when you did. making a meatball quesadilla while high was a bad choice
"Tuesday" and "open-bar" shouldn't be used in the same sentence.
Well i tried snorting sugar. so either that made me puke or the fact that i drank water from a fish tank
i find it unbelievable that you didn't think it was necessary to intervene when i started letting people autograph my body with spray tan.
He tried to cuddle with me after we hooked up and i just looked at him and said why are you still here?
Whoever I saved in my phone as "Jackpot" last night has your keys.
WHY does every guy I sleep with want to fix my car?!
The judge mental looks i am getting while looking at porn on my phone sitting in the urgent care waiting room is gonna get way worse when they find out im here to see if im pregnant
Again? Most people check out of hotels, they don't escape from them
My life has come to reading articles about dating an ex heroin addict. I'm doing well.
Man i fell asleep on a random persons porch on the way home and woke up to the family banging on the windows trying to wake me up
I know. I'm a saint. Saint of sitting on faces.
Just stay awake and booze cruise it to class. How are you a senior and have never went to class drunk? No excuses, I have a better gpa.
How you run into a glAss door three times in a row I do not know
Randomize
