when I'm not with you everything just looks like crayon scribble
Its already bleeding so dont be alarmed after you bite it
Just did the walk of shame across state lines...milestone?
I am NOT getting arrested in a batman mask
He came and then made the Jim Halpert face. does that say disappointment or what
Thank you, bloody toiletpaper I found in the hamper. I was worried that today was going to be boring.
where are you?
Hypothermia
I'm sure I'm not the FIRST newly single girl to table dance at a family restaurant.
She is just sitting by the bathroom like a little puppy waiting for a knight in shining armor to take her in there to fuck her. New low?
and ive been naked for the greater part of the evening. alone, drunk, and naked. i think that is how all great interventions start.
I let my cat eat the pepperonis off of my pizza while I was still eating it. That's the level of tequila drunk I got last night.
God I adore you.
I'm bringing cupcakes to work today as an apology for my actions at the bar last night, my boss probably can't look at me the same ever again
I'm drinking vodka. Get ready for my famous "come over" mass snapchats
His flight was delayed by two hours though. I just got cock-blocked by clouds :(
We sexted for four hours straight. Is this really what my life has come to?
Randomize
