I'm not ready for the Pike bikes to move back in to town it was wonderful seeing that sorority house empty all summer
... I'm KD
If my nicknames are based on what I throw up, you can call me Jimmy Johns
watching hot guy on train scrolling with his blackberry's track ball... o to be that track ball...
i came home at 4 a.m. and made a dozen eggs and three lbs. of bacon. my mom woke up and the only thing she was pissed about was that i used the whole carton of eggs, but then she sat down and ate with me
dude she looked like Newman from Seinfeld I'm done with this wingman shit
Sorry I dragged you across a parking lot
Wanna show up on a guy's doorstep and punch him in the balls for me? At least this one isn't a cop.
She's high and running across rooftops. Yes we're going to end up in A&E again.
yeah she's crazy. she fought a possum in my alley because it was "being a cagey little cunt"
reason #1 why i should never live alone: i haven't put pants on since she left 26 hours ago. and ive made spaghetti 3 times.
In going to go underground and live with the mole people for a while.
It was dumb but not something to force me into sobriety
I'm taking the day off so I can get drunk at Whole Foods before noon
We both shit in the same closet in Santa Fe. Nothing is sacred anymore.
Stop trying to mix nacho cheese and sex. Guys don’t want hot cheese near their junk. Pick a better fetish
Randomize
